creators.com opinion web
Liberal Opinion Conservative Opinion
Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
19 Mar 2011
Afraid To Watch the News, Millions Turn to Fox

Afraid To Watch the News, Millions Turn to Fox NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) — With unprecedented … Read More.

12 Mar 2011
Etch A Sketch 2 Takes Gadget World by Storm

LONG BEACH, CA (The Borowitz Report) — A new combatant entered the so-called tablet war today, and it's … Read More.

5 Mar 2011
Unemployment Rose Last Week by Two and a Half Men

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — The economic recovery received an unexpected jolt today as the Labor … Read More.

Bush Strips Libby of Nickname

Comment

Just hours after Vice President Dick Cheney's former chief of staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby was found guilty in his trial relating to the CIA leak scandal, Mr. Libby suffered another setback as President George W. Bush officially stripped him of his nickname in a somber White House ceremony. ??

"Scooter Libby, you are Scooter Libby no more," Mr. Bush declared, to the applause of Mr. Cheney and top White House aides. "You are now just plain old I. Lewis Libby." ??

Mr. Bush told reporters that he decided to strip Mr. Libby of his nickname because "I hardly knew the man." ??

Referring to Mr. Libby's trial, Mr. Bush said, "Just like Lewis Libby can't remember anything he did in the five years he worked here, I can't remember him working here at all." ??

White House spokesman Tony Snow said that Mr. Libby's former nickname, Scooter, would likely be reassigned to someone else in the upper echelon of the administration.

??

"We may start calling Postmaster General John E. Potter 'Scooter' Potter,'" Mr. Snow said. "It's a good nickname for the postmaster general because it makes him sound all speedy and all." ??

For his part, Mr. Libby was philosophical about being convicted on four out of five counts in his perjury trial, telling reporters, "One out of five ain't bad." ??

"This verdict means that I was telling the truth 20 percent of the time," Mr. Libby said. "That's still way above average for this administration." ??

Elsewhere, a lunar eclipse occurred over the weekend when former Vice President Al Gore briefly stepped in front of the moon.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the new book "The Republican Playbook," to be published October 2007. To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2007 CREATORS SYNDICATE



Comments

0 Comments | Post Comment
Already have an account? Log in.
New Account  
Your Name:
Your E-mail:
Your Password:
Confirm Your Password:

Please allow a few minutes for your comment to be posted.

Enter the numbers to the right:  
Creators.com comments policy
More
Andy Borowitz
Mar. `11
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
27 28 1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31 1 2
About the author About the author
Write the author Write the author
Printer friendly format Printer friendly format
Email to friend Email to friend
View by Month
Walter Williams
Walter E. WilliamsUpdated 15 May 2013
Dennis Prager
Dennis PragerUpdated 14 May 2013
David Limbaugh
David LimbaughUpdated 14 May 2013

15 Mar 2008 Calling Hillary a Monster "Offensive," Monsters Say

27 Oct 2007 Dean Reassures Democrats: "We Will Find a Way to Screw This Up"

17 Apr 2010 Volcanic Ash Cloud Turns Out To Be Finale of "Lost"