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Homemaking: After 12 Years, Heartfelt Thanks and Farewell
The other day, I was out driving with my wife and daughters and the subject of British royalty came up. In my head, I teed up a funny anecdote about how, when I was 16, I literally bumped into the Queen of England. Long story, but she was a middle-…Read more.
Dr. Daddy
It all started with a picture taken at the hospital shortly after the birth of our twin girls. Livvy and Catherine were a Caesarean birth, and as I was in the delivery room, I had to be outfitted in full surgeon regalia: scrubs, hat and mask. …Read more.
Pasta, the Food That Kills
When my six-year-old daughter Catherine is acting up, all I have to say is "Knock it off, or Daddy's gonna make pasta!" She actually likes pasta. (Other than peanut butter and jelly or bologna and cheese, it's the only food she will eat.) …Read more.
Brace Yourself!
This past Sunday, I paged through the Real Estate section of the paper to see if we could find a home closer to my children's orthodontist. Most people look for an easy commute to work or want to be near good schools. The way things have been going …Read more.
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Highbrow or Lowbrow, Bro?This past Sunday night, we faced a bit of a dilemma in our house. The English drawing room, cucumber sandwich and Earl Grey tea sipping drama, "Downton Abbey," was scheduled to return for its third season, while at the same time, on another channel, was the dirty, dumb hillbilly reality show, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!" Halloween special. My wife was torn. I did not have a dog in this hunt. My wife controls the remote, so for the most part we watch TV shows where women try on wedding dresses, couples go apartment shopping and housewives scream at each other. My wife also switches channels every time she gets bored. Sometimes I look up and wonder why the woman looking for an apartment is now getting married or why the housewives have stopped screaming and are now looking for an affordable house in the suburbs of Paris. I don't personally own a gun, but every once in a while I wish I had one so I could shoot the screen out. Sunday night, though, the choice was between two extremes, and my wife wanted my opinion. I thought about it. "Downton Abbey" is a show where folks get all dressed up, but nothing really happens. The downstairs women seem to spend all day getting ready for dinner, while the men spend their time trying to get spots out of suit coats. Upstairs, rich people drink tea and stare at each other. Every once in a while someone gets a telegram, and says, "Oh dear!" That's about it. It's like watching "Titanic", without Leo, Kate, the ship or the iceberg. "Honey Boo Boo" is also a show where nothing happens, but that's the only similarity. While the Crawleys of "Downton Abbey" can probably trace their lineage back to the days of Henry VIII, the "Honey Boo Boo" clan seems to be descended from one dust bowl brother and sister with too much time on their hands. When they talk, it sounds like they have mouths full of cornbread so you're not really sure what's happening. That's OK, as I'm pretty sure they're not either. The real differences are in their respective audiences.
You can usually tell which camp people fall into pretty quick. "Downton Abbey" types buy their food in the organic section of the supermarket, and they swear by PBS. "Honey Boo Boo" lovers buy their food at 7-Eleven and hope they don't get PBS, thinking it's that disease where you have to go to the bathroom all the time. The "Honey Boo Boo" fans may not have much culture, but they know how to have a good time. It occurred to me that we had to decide whether we were going to try to be cultured, PBS-watching, sophisticated wannabes, or low-class, cornbread-guzzling hillbillies. Then it hit me. The two main characters on "Downton Abbey," Lady Mary and Matthew, are in love, and, awkwardly enough, cousins. "Downton Abbey" is really just the first season of "Honey Boo Boo." If we picked that, we could watch the downfall of our civilization in chronological order. I was going to explain my complicated but brilliant rationale, but my wife made the decision for me. "Never mind," she said, "I'll just flip back and forth between the two." Don't blame me if I tell folks at work the next day that my favorite part of "Downton Abbey" was when the Countess of Grantham got that pumpkin stuck on her head and rolled around on the porch. To find out more about Peter McKay, please visit www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM
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