Q: While growing up, my brother and I were extremely jealous of each other. Our parents could not solve the problem, and now they are both gone. However, my brother and I continue to fight. We are a large family and celebrate the holidays and birthdays together. If my husband and I are asked to bring wine to a family party, we buy the most expensive brand just to outdo my brother. If he and his wife are asked to bring the birthday cake, it is delicious and baked by our most expensive bakery.

Our relatives are well aware of the showoff and overkill things we do. Now in our 50s, I want to patch it up. I do not know if my brother would even consider it. How can I start the healing process?

A: Why waste another minute being angry? Anger begets anger and will continue to fester and accelerate until you make peace. Your parents are no longer an excuse for your jealousies, so why not just start a new beginning?

Write your brother a letter, express your feelings, apologize and invite him to lunch. Explain that you believe it is time to reconcile, and you would hope he also feels the same.

Continuing to sabotage, compete and be unhappy for the rest of your lives is not a winning choice.

Nothing would likely make your parents happier than changing your attitudes and accepting each other as a loving brother and sister team!

Q: It seems that we are experiencing more frequent natural disasters, and we may likely experience one ourselves. In December, our cousins faced a major flood in their home and are still trying to recover from it. We understand that no one can be totally prepared, but what are the basics?

A: To best overcome your fears and to better prepare for a disaster, an accident or other emergency, think about what would be the worst things that could happen. Write your list and evaluate your priorities. Share your list with each family member. It is a good idea to carry duplicate copies in your clothing. Also tape one on your refrigerators.

If you're faced with an emergency, what are your major concerns and priorities? How should you handle a family injury, and where are the nearest hospitals? If your family is not in the same location, how can you best reunite? Would your fire station be a good assembly point? Remember, cell phones do not work in major emergencies, only landlines. Do you have a kit that contains water, food, clothing, medications, shoes, a blanket, a battery operated radio, flashlight and other personal needs? Do you have pets? Does everyone know where the nearest hospitals and emergency clinics are located?

Do an annual family emergency drill similar to that of cruise ships. Without notice, blow a whistle, which means your family should assemble on your lawn. This will teach them their responsibilities in case there is an actual fire.

That experience might prove to mean the difference in your lives!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.