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As Is
DEAR SUSAN: I guess that at this stage of life (age 63), I'm willing to be the exact same man a woman wants, as long as that doesn't involve change. Sounds kind of selfish at first hearing, but I expect to return the favor — or not find her …Read more.
Courage
DEAR SUSAN: If, as you believe, courage is the passport from old stale patterns, then only the brave are sure to get their dreams fulfilled. But if the answers to our questions are inside us, why don't we just take a peek? — From the …Read more.
Womanstrong
DEAR SUSAN: Your quiz question about whether strong, assertive women turn men off made me write to you. Even men with assertive, strong mothers seem to like women who are bubbly and interesting without being too independent. Often, it is hard for me …Read more.
Sorting Sex, Part 1
The best way to do these questions justice is to read them through in one sitting, let them marinate awhile and then read them again and give your responses. Some may trigger immediate responses; others take more thought. But however you approach …Read more.
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Splitsville StylesDEAR SUSAN: On the issue of breaking up a relationship — in person, by phone or through written word — I firmly believe the most important thing is clear communication by the person initiating the breakup. That person needs to be as clear and as kind as possible so that the decision is relayed respectfully. As to getting the message across, some people may not be very good at communicating in person, afraid they'll say something hurtful unintentionally. (Or they may fear they might not get their message across clearly and thus give the other person a futile hope.) However the sad message is delivered — in person, on the phone or through the written word — it must be done with kindness. Also, when delivering news that is emotionally painful, do it in private so that the person can deal with it on his or her own terms. I can't imagine anything worse than receiving such news in a public place. The mode of the breakup communication isn't nearly so important as considering the other person's feelings. If someone can be kinder with the time and introspection the written form allows, that is the best way. If the relationship has been a long one, it may be appropriate to follow the letter soon (with a phone call or visit) to show there was caring there, though not the romantic sort hoped for. I know this would be my preference if I were on the receiving end. — From the "Single File" blog DEAR BLOGGER: Sounds to me as if you've been in that position more than once. I can hear the longing, the sighing, the muted acceptance of something you cannot control.
DEAR SUSAN: Yes, it's considered classier and more personal to talk face to face and tell someone that he or she is history. But what should you do with a poor sap who froze so many times for so long before finally taking the chance to ask you for a date? Thoughtful notes come easily, but courage through experience hasn't yet been built, so instead of fumbling and straining, some people write the words that can't be eloquently expressed to do the other the emotional justice deserved. For some, it is not escape but a respectful and kind way to thank someone for company and caring — without, I may add, the frightening awkwardness of rough edges and panicked inadequate (or, worse, insulting) expression. — From the "Single File" blog DEAR BLOGGER: Your goodbye style feels a bit gung-ho for my emotional set, but on second (and third) reading, the words bubble with compassion. You seem to understand (?) the awkward bumbling most of us go through when trying to put into words our deepest yearnings. Whatever the words, being the recipient of bad love news hurts something awful. There's no way to make that sound pretty. Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at sumor123@aol.com. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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