Dear John, I have been in a fantastic relationship for over two years. My girlfriend, "Carol," has two younger girls, who are great kids. I have two teenage girls who seem to be going through a lot of turmoil over the past couple of months.

One night I was on the phone with my girlfriend when my kids started arguing. Carol made a comment about their behavior and attitudes. I've been working long hours, and it's not easy keeping everyone happy. I snapped at Carol and told her, "This does not concern you."

A couple of weeks went by, and now all of a sudden, Carol wants to take a break from the relationship. She says that, when you don't address issues, you can sometimes destroy a long courtship. I know that she is upset over what I said, but I was just stressed out. I know she loves me, but I don't know how to get things back on track. —Solution Needed in Columbia, Mo.

Dear Solution Needed, Venusians show concern when they feel someone is having problems. Although her intentions were good, her timing was not.

In the heat of the moment, you hurt Carol's feelings when you quashed her attempt to help you with your daughters.

At this point, if you want to get back on track with her, acknowledge her concern and her desire to help you through it, and apologize to her for not realizing how much your words hurt her. Then let her know that the relationship is important to you, and ask her out on a formal date. If she accepts, and the topic of childrearing comes up again, listen to her with respect and appreciation.

Dear John, How do I know when I am in love? Is it a feeling inside?

My girlfriend and I are still in high school, and she is in the top 10 percent of our graduating class. I'm not even close. I admit that I am jealous of her because she is so smart. How do I get over that and deal with it? I am in love with her, and I have already bought her a ring. —Needing Wisdom in Duluth, Minn.

Dear Needing, Love is certainly something we feel as a catch in our throats, a flip in our gut and a tug to our hearts. When we first feel love, it comes with elation: the high that makes us happy to be alive and proud of the fact that we are also loved.

Your jealousy is in fact your insecurity that your differences may at some point pull you apart. Sure, that is always a risk. But whatever happens will be for the best, because young adulthood is a time of intense self-discovery. You won't know what you want — or need — in a relationship until you've experienced more than one.

As for your current relationship, maturity comes with knowing that sometimes passion diminishes or that friendship can take its place. Enjoy the relationship now, and don't be afraid of change because change is the essence of life.

2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.