Dear John, I am a 50-year-old woman. "Jess," my boyfriend of six years, left me for a much younger woman. I was also left with about $5,000 in bills. He has never offered to help me with these bills, although he now lives with this other woman and helps her out with her expenses.

I wrote him a letter about this, but he never responded. He has no assets, although he now has a good job. It's been a year since he left, and every day I kick myself. I feel the need for revenge, although I realize that I should be getting on with my life. —Still Angry in Flagstaff, Ariz.

Dear Still Angry, You should listen to your instinct that is time to move on. You won't be able to do this, however, as long as you keep yourself in a place of anger and hurt.

Please consider my "feeling letter" exercise. The goal of the letter is to release the negative feelings that stand between you and your much-needed emotional healing.

This letter should include all five levels of feeling: Anger, Hurt, Fear, Guilt and Love. Each paragraph should contain a new feeling. For example: "I am angry because ..." Or, "I am hurt because ..." Don't edit your feelings or try to be rational or nice. Indulge your true feelings. Writing these down will act as a release.

You can refer to the letter whenever you feel yourself slipping back into a negative place. The only person who can move you beyond your pain is you. My best advice: Start your healing process today. It's your first step toward a better and brighter future.

Dear John, What do you think about breast lift operations and the scars that go with it? I am a single mom considering this procedure. Right now, I have droopy "banana peel" breasts. Before I move forward, I would love to know a man's view on this subject. —Time for a Lift in Baton Rouge, La.

Dear Time, Sure, many men have an initial positive response to a well-toned (or surgically enhanced) body. Then again, while this might light his fire, they won't be flames that keep on burning. The right guy is going to love you despite any physical changes you may go through — or have already experienced — on life's journey.

True sex appeal comes from within. When you feel good about yourself and you show a real interest in others, others are attracted to your positive energy. Before you consider enhancement surgery, consider doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Join a gym, make plans with friends, do something out of the ordinary that says to you, "Hey, I'm an vibrant, interesting person!" Believe me, that is the true turn-on to most men.

2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.