DR. WALLACE: I have been reading your column for a long time, and I have noticed that many teens resent their grandparents when they are old and come to live with their family. Some of the teens complain about how "nosey" their grandmother is and how their grandfather always wants to watch sports on TV, and some complain that their grandparents embarrass them in front of their friends.

Not long ago, my grandmother came to live at our house. She was in a wheelchair and always wanted to be in the family room where everybody else was because she didn't want to miss anything. This was OK with me, but when my friends or a date came over, she always wanted to talk to them and ask a lot of questions. She always wanted to know where I was going, and she was always telling me what I should do. After a while, I became annoyed and wished she would move into a retirement home.

Then one day she got sick and had to go to the hospital. I thought she would just be gone for a week or so and looked forward to a few days without her. However, when she suddenly had a heart attack and died, I was shocked and saddened. After a couple of weeks, I found I really missed her. I realized that I had not considered her feelings. She probably felt like an intruder, and she was trapped in her wheelchair in poor health, a lonely widow dependent on our family for everything.

So I'd like to tell teens that they should take the time to get to know their grandparents who come to live in their home when they are old. I know you will sometimes think that they just don't understand today's teenagers, but be patient and smile when you speak with them. Ask them about their early lives, and you will learn from their experiences.

I'm really sorry that I didn't do more for my own grandmother, but now it's too late to tell her I loved her. —Nameless, Seattle, Wash.

NAMELESS: Thanks for sharing your experience with our teen readers. Many grandmothers and grandfathers will get a big hug and an "I love you" today because of your letter.

Most grandparents are very observant and wise. Even though you and your grandmother had your disagreements, deep down she knew you loved her, and she loved you.

SOME RUMORS ARE NOT TRUE

DR. WALLACE: A girl recently moved into our neighborhood and started attending our school. She invited a few of us girls to a slumber party next week to get acquainted. My best friend and I were both invited, and I was looking forward to going and to have the new girl as a friend because she seemed to be very nice.

My friend Jan called me last night and told me she wasn't going to the party. When I asked her why, she said that she heard that the new girl was involved in sex and drugs at her old school and had a bad reputation. Do you think this could be true? My friend and this new girl and I are all only 13 years old.

I don't know what to do because I'm not that kind of girl, and I sure don't want to ruin my reputation by going to her party. What do you think I should do? —Nameless, Tulsa, Okla.

NAMELESS: Rumors have a way of being both vicious and unfair. Sometimes they are motivated by jealousy. I think you should plan on attending the party. It will be a good way for you to make up your own mind about the new girl. If for some reason you don't feel comfortable with what is going on at the party, you can simply call your parents and have them take you home. Be sure to tell your parents that you may need a ride earlier than the expected time so you will be assured of your ride home.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.