DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 and have been told that I don't have a positive self-esteem. Does this mean that self-esteem is negative? Please explain. Maybe I don't have any close friends because my self-esteem is low. What can I do to improve my self-esteem? I really want to change it. —Rosa, El Paso, Tex.

ROSA: Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. When someone has a positive self-esteem, this person has self-confidence. This means the person sets goals and is confident that these goals can be successfully accomplished.

When a person has low self-esteem, he or she may feel not worthy of being accepted or even loved. For example, this person may feel or say "I'm really dumb," or "Nobody cares for me or likes me." All humans have some degree of weaknesses and some degree of strengths.

Spend some time thinking about your strengths. Are you honest, loyal, helpful, kind, considerate, etc.? Think about these positive attributes that apply to you and remember them every day. Keep telling yourself every day that, "I'm intelligent," and "I can do this." Practice in front of a mirror to give yourself an opportunity to see yourself while thinking positive thoughts, and remember to smile!

Keep a daily journal, listing events from the day where you exhibited your strengths. If you make a mistake, don't let it hinder your attempt to improve your self-esteem. All humans make mistakes, but you need to learn from them and then forget them.

Finally, make friends with those who you feel have good self-esteem. These future friends can come from your neighborhood, your church, or your school. Please make improving your self-esteem an important part of your future. Please contact me again and let me know how you are doing.

IF HE SAID "NO," I'D BE EMBARRASSED

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and really like a certain boy, and I know that he likes me, too. He has told this to my best friend, and he even told my brother. The problem is that he is very shy, and I'm sure he won't ask me out. I want to ask him out, but my best friend keeps telling me that "nice" girls don't ask boys to go out with them. I really don't believe that and that's not my problem. If I would ask Carlos out and he would happen to refuse my offer, I'd be so embarrassed. I'd just die. What should I do? —Dawn, Phoenix, Ariz.

DAWN: Ask him out. If he refuses (I'll bet that he won't) you surely won't die. You'll just be disappointed, and that will fade away in a week or two.

The alternative is that he won't ask you out because he is too shy. By asking him, you have a good chance of getting your wish.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.