Dear John, I am a young, single, black male living in South Georgia. I have more white friends than black, and more of an interest in Caucasian women. At the present time, my parents object to interracial dating. I feel guilty. Should I date only girls that please them? —Who Cares? in Chicago, IL

Dear Who Cares, Seventy or more years ago, it was common that parents would determine whom their children would date and marry.

As we all know, times have changed. In making relationship choices, however, it is natural to feel the influence of our parents' wishes. But in this modern era, the determining factor lies within your heart.

The chemistry that any one of us feels towards another person remains a mystery to science. Accept the fact that you have the freedom to choose your own relationships, and recognize that, along with that acceptance, you may in fact disappoint your parents or others. In most situations, however, those who love us most want us to be happy in life. If the relationship you find gives you that happiness, in time your parents will come to respect and appreciate that fact.

Dear John, I have known a wonderful man professionally for a year. In October, I took him to a hockey game, and we have been inseparable ever since. "Lou" has a 6-year-old son who lives two hours away with his mother. I have not met his son, but the boy became upset when he heard of me. Lou's ex-wife threatened to file for full custody of their son because of our involvement. I feel his ex-wife and his son will prevent our relationship from lasting as long as it could. What should I do? —That New Girl in Peoria, Ariz.

Dear New Girl, Lou's ex-wife is still bitter over their divorce. Until there is some emotional resolution, she will be using this threat to keep Lou from seeing anyone else.

Because the child loves and wishes to protect his mother, his reactions to Lou's news mimic her feelings. You'll reinforce your support of him by recognizing that healing is still needed here. Added pressure from you will not allow that healing to occur. If you believe that your relationship with Lou can blossom into a deeper commitment, allow him the space to work through these issues. As Lou works through his issues, he'll deeply appreciate your friendship, patience and understanding.

2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.