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My Daughter Went to an R-Rated Movie
DR. WALLACE: I'm the mother of a 15-year-old girl, and I'm mad as heck. My daughter and her 16-year-old boyfriend went to an R-rated movie. I found out when I overheard them discussing the movie. I called the theater to complain and was told that they do not ask for identification because an adult could purchase the tickets and give them to underage teens.
Needless to say, I called the police and contacted the newspaper to vent my anger. They all told me that it was up to the parents to make sure their children do not see films that are intended for mature audiences.
My daughter is grounded for a month and is not allowed to go out with this boy any more, but that still doesn't eliminate the problem. —Mother, Manchester, N.H.
MOTHER: Parental vigilance does seem to be the only barrier between underage teens and R-rated movies. Believe me, your daughter is far from the only one who has managed to get into such a movie. React, a teen magazine, polled over 7,600 teens who were 16 and under and learned that a whopping 80 percent said they went regularly to R-rated movies. There was nothing to stop them.
The reason is profit. Theaters want to sell tickets, and an underage teen's money is just as good as an adult's.
I don't blame you for being upset, but I would caution you that anger and punishment alone will not solve the problem. They could even have the reverse effect, heightening the allure such movies have by turning them into "forbidden fruit." Keep the communication channel open with your daughter. Your values will be transmitted to her far more effectively with love than anger.
THERE ARE NO HEALTHY TANS
DR. WALLACE: Spring is almost here, and I'm starting to think of having fun running in the surf of Lake Michigan and getting a tan lying on the golden sand.
I'm told by my P.E. teacher that it is not healthy to get a tan, even if you are loaded with expensive sunscreen. But my aunt says that the sun is a good source of Vitamin D and that if you don't overdo it and get sunburned, the sun's rays are healthy and a good way to get rid of complexion problems.
I've been getting a nice tan for several years and I have a clear complexion and have no noticeable skin damage. What do you say? —Connie, Dyer, Ind.
CONNIE: The sun is a good source of Vitamin D when taken in small doses. There is no such thing as a healthy tan. The rays from the sun can cause lasting damage to the skin that can lead to premature wrinkling and even skin cancer. Your clear complexion has nothing to do with your being in the sun.
According to Dr. Jeff Lauber, a Southern California dermatologist, any time the sun changes the color of the skin, damage has occurred.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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Comments
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20 Comments | Post Comment
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LW1 should know that the MPAA rating system is purely voluntary, and not enforceable by law.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Carla
Sat Apr 13, 2013 8:48 AM
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LW1: Not sure what to say, except that you've said your piece and made your expectations clear. While she no doubt violated your rules, there's little that can be done now ... she's seen the R-rated movie. I'd suggest backing off as well because of Dr. Wallace's suggestion that harping on it will continue to make R-rated movies even more appealing.
Other than that, if the movie theater is part of a larger chain, perhaps write a letter to the executive director and make sure it gets there. Be warned: You may be told the same thing -- that there is little that can be done to keep younger teenagers out of R-rated movies. (If it's a mom-and-pop chain, then it looks like you've exhausted your options there.)
I'll admit that I'm a little confused about the MPAA's requirements for admission of under 17, however, insofar as they can get in if someone older accompanies them. (Hence why you see lots of kids at R-rated action films.) Does that person "over 17" have to be a parent or guardian, or can anyone 17 or older get, say, a 16-year-old in?
LW2: So I guess the moral of Dr. Wallace's advice here must be -- the "no healthy tan" lesson aside -- be satisfied with who you are and the complexion/tone of your skin. Uh ... OK.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Bobaloo
Sat Apr 13, 2013 9:04 AM
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LW1--Your daughter saw an R-rated movie and you called the police and grounded her for a month? What the hell is the matter with you?!? Are you trying to drive your daughter into rebelling against everything you stand for and winding up as a drug addled stripper working the pole during her college years? Stop being such a prudish hard ass lunatic and instead recognize that young people today have access to all sorts of material that you might not approve of. Your daughter is curious and interested in things that she sees every day and hears about from her friends and from the media. Instead of flying off the handle and acting like the mother from 'Carrie' try teaching your daughter about values and then letting her make her own choices (within reason) with regards to the real world. Your daughter isn't going to be a clone of you.
LW2--Evidently this column is intended for people who have been living under a rock for generations. Look hon, the sun, like everything else is something to be taken with moderation. Of course use sunscreen to block harmful radiation. As far as hiding indoors and acting as though the sun is a killer, I think you're overreacting.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Chris
Sat Apr 13, 2013 10:17 AM
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Lw1 is most definitely over-reacting. What's even more funny is I'm betting dollars to donuts her daughter has been sexually actively for months. I'm thinking LW head might just explode from even saying the word.
Comment: #4
Posted by: It's me
Sat Apr 13, 2013 10:48 AM
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Yep, Chris is in the building! :)
I guess all I can say is, welcome Chris.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Bobaloo
Sat Apr 13, 2013 1:21 PM
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LW1- I hope your letter was meant as an April fools joke. You overheard something because you eavesdropped and
are violated your daughter's privacy. she saw an R rated movie..... oh the horror.getting the police involved is insane and a waste of their time. someone needs to call the police on YOU. Psycho.
Comment: #6
Posted by: michelle black
Sat Apr 13, 2013 3:03 PM
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It's me, I had the exact same thought. Too funny.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Eliza167
Sat Apr 13, 2013 4:12 PM
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LW1 called the police because her daughter saw a R rated movie. OMG talk about overreacting! So she saw an R rated movie, BFD. Lighten up for Pete's sake! I get that she broke the rules and I agree she should be punished but grounding her for month is excessive. Her infraction was fairly tame. When I was her age I was skipping school, having sex, doing drugs and stealing liquor. Kinda makes seeing an R rated movie sound like a day a bible camp in comparison.
Comment: #8
Posted by: Keebler
Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:56 PM
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Smart move. All it takes is one R-rated movie, and soon your daughter will be a crack-addicted, meth-snorting, devil-worshipping, truck stop hooker with tattooes all over herself and a string of illigitimate children from different men all born addicted to crack.
I advise you to shave her head so that the boys won't want to have sex with her, then make her wear a chastity belt and lock her in her room until congress bans R-rated movies.
Comment: #9
Posted by: Proodie
Sat Apr 13, 2013 11:19 PM
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At the theater where I work, we do our best to keep the kids out of R-rated movies. But for the record, a lot of parents will buy their kids tickets at the box office, send them inside - and get mad at me for not letting the kids go into the movie. "But *I* bought the tickets for my kid! How dare you not let him/her in!"
We have to explain, over and over and OVER, that we can't let them in without ID showing they are at least 17 or with someone at least 21.
Then there are the parents who drag their small children to the R rated movies WITH them.
Comment: #10
Posted by: JMM
Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:26 AM
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Re: JMM
Ha ha, one of the happiest days of my life was the day my middle daughter (14 at the time I think) and her boyfriend looked old enough to get into "Romeo Must Die" without ME having to accompany them! Any movie that has "kung fu" and "hip-hop" in the synopsis is going to be a plotless wonder and I'm going to sleep through it. Meanwhile, I got to go next door and see "The Cider House Rules" by myself!
LW 1 is an overreacting nutcase.
Comment: #11
Posted by: VAdame
Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:16 AM
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LW1: The problem is NOT the daughter, the problem is the mother. First of all, did the daughter even break any rules? Does the mother have a specific rule forbidding watching R-rated movies? I do not think so. Second, which movie was it, why was it given the R-rating? Why does the mother object to that movie? If the mother did really have any serious objections to the movie (excessive violence, for instance), she could have taken the opportunity to sit down with her daughter and discuss the movie, especially the parts that gave it the R-rating. That would have been a great opportunity to talk about values, and she could have learned a lot about her daughter, and most importantly, the daughter would have felt more free to know that she could always talk to her mother about anything. For instance, what if the daughter was actually disturbed by some parts of the movie? In a healthy relationship, the daughter should be able to discuss these things with her mother without fear of being judged and punished. I do blame the mother for being unreasonable and immature, I believe the real reason she is upset is because she discovered that her daughter is no longer a little kid who will do everything she is told.
Comment: #12
Posted by: R
Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:32 AM
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LW1: Mom, you're angry because you believe you were undermined. Face it, unless you keep your daughter locked in the house 24/7, and remove all TV, radio, wireless, phone -- your daughter is going to continue to be exposed to stuff you don't like. It's been happening for years.
The anger isn't helping. Drop it. Be, instead, disappointed, and tell your daughter THAT. Perhaps during her grounding, you will stream some R-rated movies (or rent them) and watch them with her and actually TALK about what's in them.
LW2: Yeah, we need vitamin D -- about 1/2 hour per day's worth of sunshine will do it.
Your aunt is mistaken that it's only burns that indicate damage -- a suntan indicates damage. It's not noticeable on you yet only because you haven't lived long enough. There is no such thing as a "safe" tan.
Bobaloo -- I didn't get that Dr. Wallace was saying you need to be happy with your complexion AT ALL. He said you shouldn't tan. That doesn't preclude seeing a dermatologist, nor wearing makeup, nor using bronzing products that darken skin without the sun.
Comment: #13
Posted by: hedgehog
Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:33 AM
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Re: hedgehog (#13)
Well, it's just like the family squabble stories I comment on at Annie's. I mean, every dog-gone time I read about how you shouldn't tan, that any tan is dangerous and the risks one faces of skin cancer and other diseases, there just seems to be this underlying, unstated message that we all need to be happy with ourselves, just the way we are ... even if we are white as ghosts. FWIW – It doesn't matter if the "don't tan" advice comes from Dr. Wallace or someone else.
As far as the tanning goes, I'll go against his advice here. I think Chris (#3) put it best, actually – that is, do so in moderation, use sunscreen, all that good stuff. It's no different than with alcohol ... that is, doing so in moderation and learning to drink responsibly (not to mention always designating a driver). (That said, the other drugs I will NOT say the same for ... those ARE illegal for a reason.)
The problem, as Dr. Wallace IS/has been correct about, comes if you tan too often, don't use precautions, etc. Same with alcohol – not knowing your limits, drinking too much can cause a world of problems.
Moderation is what I think the moral should have been ... or should be. Ironically, this comes from someone who doesn't drink (or smoke, thankfully) or tan ... although I've been burned many times by the sun. And is it ever painful!
Comment: #14
Posted by: Bobaloo
Mon Apr 15, 2013 5:51 PM
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Except, Bobaloo, you said, "I guess the moral of Dr. Wallace's advice here..." That's what I was specifically replying to, and it came out of left field, because nowhere did he say or imply that. You really can't accuse people of saying things they never said, and then come back and say "well, it doesn't matter if it came from him or someone else". If it doesn't, then please don't use his name. It would be like me saying "Bobaloo says teen sex is a good thing" and then coming back and saying "well, maybe Bobaloo didn't say it, but some other posters did, and it's all over TV and the radio, so it seems like we're all being told teen sex is good... so, it really doesn't matter if 'teen sex is good' came from Bobaloo or someone else."
Tanning's damage is cumulative. As I stated above, you get the benefits of Vitamin D from sunshine in about 30 minutes of exposure. Although complexions vary, 30 minutes a day of exposure is generally not enough to get a noticeable tan. 30 minutes a day is what is meant by "moderate" -- more than that is considered harmful. When you wear sunscreen, the goal is to allow you to stay out longer in the sun WITHOUT tanning (i.e., damage to your skin).
Studies show Americans are notoriously skimpy with their applications of sunscreen -- they apply far less than is recommended and they don't reapply it as frequently as needs to be done for protection after it's sweated off or rinsed off while swimming. They don't apply it if they're in the shade, forgetting that glare off the water reflects the burning rays back, or on cloudy days, unaware that the damaging UV rays aren't blocked by the clouds. They use up the last of an expired SPF30 bottle... and then follow with an application of SPF 15, unaware that its the outermost layer that determines the level of protection.
As a woman who remembers my friends tanning on reflective blankets with nothing more than baby oil, and as the mom of a teen girl who wanted to looks good, I've done my research on the effects of the sun's rays. This is not a case in which not going tanning often, or using sunscreen counts as "moderation".
BTW, sunburn is more than painful. According to the Skin Cancer Foundation: one blistering sunburn in childhood or adolescence more than doubles a person's chances of developing melanoma later in life. A person's risk for melanoma also doubles if he or she has had five or more sunburns at any age.
Melanoma, as I'm sure you're aware, is the most serious form of skin cancer. Since you've had "many" burns (same source: 42 percent of Americans burn at least once a year), please know the early signs of melanoma and be vigilant about checking yourself.
Comment: #15
Posted by: hedgehog
Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:43 AM
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hedgehog (#15):
"Except, Bobaloo, you said, "I guess the moral of Dr. Wallace's advice here..." That's what I was specifically replying to, and it came out of left field, because nowhere did he say or imply that"
Well then, does someone want to write in to Dr. Wallace and ask him? You, me, anyone? Might be a good question. Summer's coming, after all.
Comment: #16
Posted by: Bobaloo
Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:00 PM
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Ask him what, exactly? You essentially made up a "moral" to his story; I challenged you to say I didn't see that in his reply, and you then replied: Well, it doesn't matter if Dr. Wallace said it or not!
He didn't say it. I believe he's never said "accept your complexion as it is" or even, to take it broader, to "accept yourself as you are."
I recall him suggesting ways that teens could seek help for acne (within the last month or so), and I've seen him suggest diet and exercise to achieve a healthier weight.
On the next day's column, in fact, he specifically cites the Mayo Clinic as saying that there are safe artificial tanning products, and advises the teen writing in to ask her pharmacist to make sure there are no potentially harmful substances in the product she's considering buying. That indicates to me that he's not opposed to a teen seeking to change skin tone through safer means.
I understood the moral of THIS column to be: there is no safe way to get sun-tanned. I got that loud and clear, and I'm pretty sure that asking him whether the moral of the column was something else would make him think the asker had a reading comprehension problem. So I"m not going to be asking him!
Comment: #17
Posted by: hedgehog
Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:34 PM
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Ask him what, exactly? You essentially made up a "moral" to his story; I challenged you to say I didn't see that in his reply, and you then replied: Well, it doesn't matter if Dr. Wallace said it or not!
He didn't say it. I believe he's never said "accept your complexion as it is" or even, to take it broader, to "accept yourself as you are."
I recall him suggesting ways that teens could seek help for acne (within the last month or so), and I've seen him suggest diet and exercise to achieve a healthier weight.
On the next day's column, in fact, he specifically cites the Mayo Clinic as saying that there are safe artificial tanning products, and advises the teen writing in to ask her pharmacist to make sure there are no potentially harmful substances in the product she's considering buying. That indicates to me that he's not opposed to a teen seeking to change skin tone through safer means.
I understood the moral of THIS column to be: there is no safe way to get sun-tanned. I got that loud and clear, and I'm pretty sure that asking him whether the moral of the column was something else would make him think the asker had a reading comprehension problem. So I"m not going to be asking him!
Comment: #18
Posted by: hedgehog
Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:34 PM
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Re: hedgehog (#18)
Sigh -- alright, you win.
I've lost this friggin' argument over a benign topic. We can't even agree that the sky is blue, it seems.
Comment: #19
Posted by: Bobaloo
Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:59 PM
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Bobaloo, we could agree if the sky was blue if you'd look at the sky without the filter of colored lenses. :)
Seriously, what people SAY matters. You can't ascribe to Dr. Wallace something he never said or even implied (and in fact directly contradicted in his next column) and then suggest, "It doesn't really matter if he said it or not" and then say "well, should we write to him and ask?" all because you want to make it so. At least, you can't if you expect your remarks to go unchallenged.
If I'm reading here and I see you saying stuff that goes against current prevailing medical research and advice (as with the "tanning in moderation is OK"), then I'm going to speak up, because I think it's a bad idea to disseminate health myths with potentially dangerous consequences.
Comment: #20
Posted by: hedgehog
Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:35 AM
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