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Should I Spend Two Years Dateless? DR. WALLACE: I'm 17, and the guy that I love is 19 and is in the military service. I love him with all of my heart and soul, and he says that he feels the same way about me. We constantly talk about getting married when he gets discharged in three …Read more. The High Cost of Prom Dresses TEENS: It's prom time, and millions of teens are preparing to attend the grandest of all school-sponsored events. As a senior at Emerson High School in Gary, Ind., the only money I needed to have a wonderful experience was about $75. I already owned …Read more. You Could Be Behind Bars DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and so is Lori, my so-called girlfriend. We had been going steady for a year, but we broke up two days before we graduated. Our first nine months were super, but we had lots of problems the last three. The last straw was when she …Read more. Congratulations on Your Grade-Point Average DR. WALLACE: I will be graduating from high school in less than a month. I'm a very good student and have been accepted at Yale University. I will be attending Yale in September. But I feel very disappointed that I was not selected as the …Read more.
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A Young Lady Is More Convincing Than I

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DR. WALLACE: Jordan and I have been dating for about seven months. We met at a mutual friend's party. He is 18, and I'm 16, and we see each other every weekend. He lives about 25 miles from me.

I love Jordan an awful lot. He graduates from high school in June and will be attending San Diego State University in September. So that means we can continue our relationship without interruption. I plan to also attend SDU. Jordan wants to be a high school PE teacher and football coach. I'm thinking of teaching elementary school, so it would work out perfectly if we ever got married.

Now comes the interesting part. Jordan has really been pressuring me to have sex. We have not been sexually active yet, but I don't know how long this will last. I'm a virgin, but I really don't think I'll be a virgin all of my life, so I don't see any reason not to have sex with the guy I'm in love with and hope someday to be married to.

I'm writing because I know that you will take the other side and tell me to keep my virginity until I'm married — so tell me! —Karina, San Diego, Calif.

KARINA: Please read the following letter. This young lady can tell you a lot more convincingly than I can.

DR. WALLACE: My message is for all the teen girls to just say, "No, thanks," when pressured to have sex.

When I was 16, all of my girlfriends were sexually active with their boyfriends. Me? I was the lone virgin.

Soon they were encouraging me to have sex so I could share in the interesting group discussions.

I thought I was ready and in love with Ken, so one night I said yes. Well, I found out that Ken didn't really love me and soon he was calling me only when he wanted sex. Not only that, he also told his friends I was an easy mark, and I guess I was. I had sex with many of his friends. I honestly believed that each guy really liked me and that having sex was a way of showing true affection. How wrong I was!

No, I didn't get pregnant, and, no, I didn't catch a disease (The boy always used a condom because I insisted.), but as a young woman I feel I was used and abused sexually. The emotional scars of my sexual awakening will be with me forever.

I made a big mistake by having sex. First, I thought everyone was doing it, but they weren't. Next, I thought I was physically and emotionally ready, but I wasn't.

Girls, I plead with you not to get sexually active just because you want to know what sex is all about, or you feel you are missing out on something special. Believe me, you're not. The time will come when you are truly in love and mature enough to enter into a relationship. Hopefully, it will be after you say, "I do" to your husband. —Nameless, Nashua, N.H.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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1 Comments | Post Comment
on top of the comments from the reply there is a check list each person should go through before you have sex: If I get pregnant, what will we do? If we have the baby, do I want to be tied to this person for at least the next 18 years? How will you deal with all your plans being derailed? What if you don't get married? What if you're "just until something better comes along". What is your commitment? Have you even talked about where your relationship is going or are you making suppositions of what is going to happen? Does he just say, "yeah Ok I agree?" Or do your really hear his real opinion about things? So many people don't really voice their real opinions, so many people haven't lived enough to know what they really want. Some people think they want something just because they think it's a formula to success or happiness and then they realize it doesn't make them happy. What if find out you don't really love me? What is my back up plan if things don't work out? If you haven't asked yourself all these questions, you are not ready for sex. And I know there's some questions i've missed.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Laurie
Thu Mar 21, 2013 8:01 PM
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