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As Is
DEAR SUSAN: I guess that at this stage of life (age 63), I'm willing to be the exact same man a woman wants, as long as that doesn't involve change. Sounds kind of selfish at first hearing, but I expect to return the favor — or not find her …Read more.
Courage
DEAR SUSAN: If, as you believe, courage is the passport from old stale patterns, then only the brave are sure to get their dreams fulfilled. But if the answers to our questions are inside us, why don't we just take a peek? — From the …Read more.
Womanstrong
DEAR SUSAN: Your quiz question about whether strong, assertive women turn men off made me write to you. Even men with assertive, strong mothers seem to like women who are bubbly and interesting without being too independent. Often, it is hard for me …Read more.
Sorting Sex, Part 1
The best way to do these questions justice is to read them through in one sitting, let them marinate awhile and then read them again and give your responses. Some may trigger immediate responses; others take more thought. But however you approach …Read more.
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HermitudeDEAR SUSAN: I'm single. That's fine with me — but not for always. That's why I'm concerned about being alone most of the time and actually liking it. You have ideas about the way single life should be, so I'm asking for suggestions. Help. — From the "Single File" blog DEAR BLOGGER: I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but too much aloneness can be a bad thing! (Yes, wisdom from years ago still holds, but a difference in degree can be a difference in kind.) And in this instance, too many hours of solo time can turn around and bite. Being alone can change your singleness from multi-optioned to hermitude — a degree of self-sufficiency that shuts out the world. And seeing as all the habitable mountaintops are taken, I suggest some conscious efforts to put quality people into your life. Why, you ask, is the champion of undependence so gung-ho on company? Because I'm convinced that healthy doses of interdependence are regenerative. For example, ask a friend over for the weekend, smiling bravely at the messy bathroom and kitchen sink, remembering they're signs of life. Or plan a short trip with a friend, and share the room. Divide responsibilities for planning/executing the adventure, because the point is to rely on someone other than yourself. Rent a cottage or ski lodge with friends, which moves you into group shopping, group living, group thinking.
OK, all you out there in Readerland, the truth is that you can be too independent; being Single Superwoman and doing everything yourself actually limits your life! I'm all for wholeness (undependence), but not the kind that keeps people away. Think about it. DEAR SUSAN: You recently advised a reader to attend her house of worship for spiritual guidance and possibly meet others who share her values. My friends think it would be a good thing for me to do. Do you still think it's worth a try? — From the "Single File" blog DEAR BLOGGER: Churchness (hunger for a higher connection) can be a bulwark, a source of inner strength in a world where threads are too easily broken. It isn't important which religion you follow; what counts is the strength you gain from the experience of being in your house of worship, inviting communion with others and taking part in the activities offered. The men and women there share your need for a higher satisfaction. You know how I am constantly beating the drum for common interests in a love relationship; well, common values beat them by a mile. Interests can come and go, but when partners share basic values — family, fidelity, mutual respect — their love is unassailable. Theirs is the quiet assuredness of a partner who will be there to the last day. Go ye forth and find such a love. Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at sumor123@aol.com. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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