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Choosing Between a Spouse and the Other Woman
Dear John, Although I am married, I have done without love and romance for years. Recently I met Cindy, who has rekindled feelings that I had repressed. It is like a new awakening for me! Feelings that I thought were lost have returned. The problem …Read more.
Husband Is Old-School
Dear John, My husband Jack is of the "old school." He thinks that husbands should be cared for and waited on, and I've done this for 37 years. Well, I can't do it all anymore. I have fibromyalgia, which causes acute muscle pain and getting …Read more.
Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Hear About Ex
Dear John, After a long marriage to a drug addict, I found the courage to leave. Although I am no longer in love with him, I do wish him all the best, just without me in the picture. My grown daughter resents my leaving. My grown son, however, is …Read more.
Girlfriend Wants a Break
Dear John, I have been in a fantastic relationship for over two years. My girlfriend, "Carol," has two younger girls, who are great kids. I have two teenage girls who seem to be going through a lot of turmoil over the past couple of months.…Read more.
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The Debate Over Age DifferenceDear John, For the past few months I have been seeing a younger man. He is 28, and I am 37. I was previously married and have two daughters, ages 13 and 9. He never married and does not have children. I really enjoy his company, but I try not to lose sight of our age differences. Still my heart says, "Hold on," because this relationship is wonderful. Which part of me is right? —Uncertain, in Salt Lake City, Utah Dear Uncertain, Right now, your physical and emotional needs are in sync with his. However, as you move into your 50s, 60s and beyond, that may not always be the case. If you are looking for a relationship that may last 10 or more years, this age difference may in fact become a problem with the passing years. One day he may want to have a child of his own. When that time comes around, the idea of going through another pregnancy might not appeal to you. On the other hand, nothing in life is guaranteed. Even if you find a soul mate closer in age, circumstance may dictate that you might not be together for several decades. If you are willing to live in the moment and get from this relationship what you need, one day at a time, then you've found a relationship that's right for you. Dear John, I'm a male college student.
Dear Not Fully, There are many kinds of relationships. As I discuss in my book, "Mars and Venus on a Date," committed relationships go through five stages: attraction in which we have physical chemistry with someone, uncertainty where we question our feelings and sort through our doubts, exclusivity, the first step for commitment, intimacy, which includes both emotional and physical closeness and finally, engagement. Ideally, partners move together through these stages. At any stage, you may discover that your partner is not your soul mate, and you'll start the process again with a new partner. Successful relationships are built on passion, trust, commitment and love. I wish you success in finding all of that. In time, I'm quite certain you will. 2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased. 
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