creators home lifestyle web
John Gray


How Much Does Hair Have to Do With a Person's Attractiveness? Dear John: How does hair color and style contribute to how much a person would find a potential partner attractive? Considering the amount of money hair care companies spend on creating new products, such as dyes, relaxants, shampoos, styling gels …Read more. Stepson Has Problematic Girlfriend Dear John: My 24-year-old stepson recently introduced us to his new girlfriend. She is 12 years older than him, which makes her just 10 years younger than my husband and me. She's loud and a big flirt who knows no boundaries. In fact, she has even …Read more. Threesome Tension Dear John: Recently, my husband shared with me that he would like to have a threesome with another female. I know this is pretty much a fantasy many guys have. After stating this, he said he would leave it up to me if it happened or not. And now, I'…Read more. Unhealthy Attraction Dear John: I have a crush on a woman at my work. She is several years older than I am, and is married with two kids. I know that this is an unhealthy attraction. The trouble is, I don't know how to fall out of love with her. I'm extremely shy around …Read more.
more articles

Divorce and the Kids


Dear John, After three years of marriage, my husband informed me that he has never truly loved me. I come from a very stable family, and I've never been exposed to this sort of behavior. He comes from a family background of divorce. My immediate concern is the well being of our 2-year-old son. As an adult, I can accept the relationship ending, but I don't know how this will impact the life of my son. I am worried that I won't know how to acknowledge his feelings or even know if he comprehends what is happening. I realize my son may need counseling for this in the future. How do I help him through this transition? —Feeling Numb in Dayton, Ohio

Dear Feeling Numb, At this moment, you are devastated about your situation and for good reason you're feeling hurt and angry.

The issues a parent may have about relationships don't have to be repeated in our children as they grow into adulthood. To nurture your son having a positive outlook on relationships, please always remember that children have very strong emotional "radar." They pick up on your anger, fear, hurt and disappointment.

The message you want your child to receive in the coming years is that both you and your husband love him, and that neither of you is leaving him.

Ideally you'll avoid making negative statements about your husband in front of your child, and you will be able to encourage your ex-husband to stay active in the boy's life. Family counseling at some point in the future may well be beneficial for all of you.

Dear John, I just met a man online, and he sounds and looks like my type. However, he has accomplished a lot in life. That intimidates me because I just lost my job, and I am living with my mother. Actually, I haven't been able to move out of her home since my divorce five years ago. How can I overcome my feelings of inadequacy? —Hoping for Better Days in Springfield, Mass.

Dear Hoping, I'm sure that you have many accomplishments and that, in the past, you've made lots of contributions to your professional life, your community or to causes that are important to you. Do you have any hobbies or special talents? Do you have any long-term personal or professional goals? Self-assurance is what keeps others interested in us. Don't be afraid to be yourself. In the final analysis, you will find that the only thing holding you back is you.

2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.



1 Comments | Post Comment
LW1: LMAO - Your kid isn't going to need therapy because of a divorce - he'll need therapy because his mom's an emotional retard.

Comment: #1
Posted by: Diana
Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:02 PM
Already have an account? Log in.
New Account  
Your Name:
Your E-mail:
Your Password:
Confirm Your Password:

Please allow a few minutes for your comment to be posted.

Enter the numbers to the right: comments policy
John Gray
May. `14
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
27 28 29 30 1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
About the author About the author
Write the author Write the author
Printer friendly format Printer friendly format
Email to friend Email to friend
View by Month