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Choosing Between a Spouse and the Other Woman
Dear John, Although I am married, I have done without love and romance for years. Recently I met Cindy, who has rekindled feelings that I had repressed. It is like a new awakening for me! Feelings that I thought were lost have returned. The problem …Read more.
Husband Is Old-School
Dear John, My husband Jack is of the "old school." He thinks that husbands should be cared for and waited on, and I've done this for 37 years. Well, I can't do it all anymore. I have fibromyalgia, which causes acute muscle pain and getting …Read more.
Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Hear About Ex
Dear John, After a long marriage to a drug addict, I found the courage to leave. Although I am no longer in love with him, I do wish him all the best, just without me in the picture. My grown daughter resents my leaving. My grown son, however, is …Read more.
Girlfriend Wants a Break
Dear John, I have been in a fantastic relationship for over two years. My girlfriend, "Carol," has two younger girls, who are great kids. I have two teenage girls who seem to be going through a lot of turmoil over the past couple of months.…Read more.
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Boyfriend Left for Younger WomanDear John, I am a 50-year-old woman. "Jess," my boyfriend of six years, left me for a much younger woman. I was also left with about $5,000 in bills. He has never offered to help me with these bills, although he now lives with this other woman and helps her out with her expenses. I wrote him a letter about this, but he never responded. He has no assets, although he now has a good job. It's been a year since he left, and every day I kick myself. I feel the need for revenge, although I realize that I should be getting on with my life. —Still Angry in Flagstaff, Ariz. Dear Still Angry, You should listen to your instinct that is time to move on. You won't be able to do this, however, as long as you keep yourself in a place of anger and hurt. Please consider my "feeling letter" exercise. The goal of the letter is to release the negative feelings that stand between you and your much-needed emotional healing. This letter should include all five levels of feeling: Anger, Hurt, Fear, Guilt and Love. Each paragraph should contain a new feeling. For example: "I am angry because ..." Or, "I am hurt because ..." Don't edit your feelings or try to be rational or nice. Indulge your true feelings. Writing these down will act as a release. You can refer to the letter whenever you feel yourself slipping back into a negative place.
Dear John, What do you think about breast lift operations and the scars that go with it? I am a single mom considering this procedure. Right now, I have droopy "banana peel" breasts. Before I move forward, I would love to know a man's view on this subject. —Time for a Lift in Baton Rouge, La. Dear Time, Sure, many men have an initial positive response to a well-toned (or surgically enhanced) body. Then again, while this might light his fire, they won't be flames that keep on burning. The right guy is going to love you despite any physical changes you may go through — or have already experienced — on life's journey. True sex appeal comes from within. When you feel good about yourself and you show a real interest in others, others are attracted to your positive energy. Before you consider enhancement surgery, consider doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Join a gym, make plans with friends, do something out of the ordinary that says to you, "Hey, I'm an vibrant, interesting person!" Believe me, that is the true turn-on to most men. 2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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