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An Insect Tale for the Ages May. 16, 2023
I couldn't help but notice the giant bug thing when it appeared out of nowhere and jumped up into my... Read More
Shaking in My Shoes May. 02, 2023
When I found the boots, it was love at first footwear. They were a unicorn, or in this case, a shoe... Read More
Sleeping with the Enemy Apr. 25, 2023
Whenever my husband goes out of town, I cheat. I figure what he doesn't know won't hurt him, and sin... Read More
The Round Knife Rolley Thing Apr. 11, 2023
"Have you seen the round knife rolley thing?" asked my husband, moving his arm back and forth in a s... Read More
Egg on My Face Apr. 04, 2023
I had to roast an egg. I wondered: How hard could it be? I've made hard- and soft-boiled eggs, scram... Read More
What's in Your Pocket? Mar. 28, 2023
"Is that a new jacket?" my husband asked me as I put my jacket on to leave. "Yes!" I exclaimed excit... Read More
Pop Goes the Sleepwalker Mar. 21, 2023
One morning I got up and found popcorn in my bed. Since I never eat anything in bed and since I knew... Read More
Eye See You Mar. 14, 2023
"Honey, have you seen my eyeglasses?" yelled my husband from another room. I sighed. This was not th... Read More
I Ski, Therefore I Fall Mar. 07, 2023
I am not a terrible skier, but I am not a particularly good skier either. On the Official Learned-as... Read More
Let's All Go Bananas Feb. 28, 2023
"Do you think I should make some banana bread?" I asked my husband. "I don't know," he replied. "Do ... Read More
Snistle While You Work Feb. 21, 2023
"You were making some weird noises last night when you were sleeping," I said to my husband as I mad... Read More
The Adventures of Mr. Fixit Feb. 14, 2023
"I'll be right back," said my husband as he headed for the door. "Where are you going?" I demanded. ... Read More
Hide and Seek Valentine Feb. 07, 2023
After 30 years of marriage, you wouldn't think I would hold out much hope that my husband would reme... Read More
Who's Calling, Please? Jan. 24, 2023
Receptionist: "Dr. Zucker's office. This is Charlene." Me: "Hi, this is Tracy Beckerman..." Receptio... Read More
Tuck, Tuck, Goose Jan. 17, 2023
We are having some conflict in our house. No, it's not about politics or religion or whose turn it i... Read More
Santa Paws is Coming to Town Dec. 20, 2022
"What is all this?" asked my husband when he walked in the door. He waved at a big stack of gifts as... Read More
Honk if You Like Santa Dec. 13, 2022
As I circled the mall parking lot for the 30th time, I finally saw a pair of red lights two rows ove... Read More
For Whom the Toilet Paper Rolls Nov. 29, 2022
"Can you pick up some more tissues at the supermarket?" I asked my husband. "I'm not going out right... Read More
The Mean, Old Turkey of Turkeytown Nov. 22, 2022
There was a wild turkey in the middle of the road. And this turkey, it seemed, was in no hurry to go... Read More
Feeling Melon-choly Nov. 01, 2022
In the world of melons, you've basically got your cantaloupes, your honeydews and your watermelons. ... Read More
