Search Content
Control: Remote and Very Remote Aug. 08, 2025
Warning: This column begins as slightly off-kilter, but it ends up flat-out weird. I think it's safe... Read More
Misdirection: When East is West and West is ... East Aug. 01, 2025
As Tom and I are getting on the turnpike, I get a call from our brother Steve, "You're going the wro... Read More
Stepping Up to the Microphone Jul. 18, 2025
When I was working full time as a professional speaker and make-believe celebrity, people would ask ... Read More
No Tax? No Snacks! Jul. 17, 2025
I agree with you, 100% Anybody who has a job today deserves mad respect, loud applause and free sna... Read More
And It Seemed Like Such a Good Idea Jul. 11, 2025
The envelope the charity's director received on Monday had no return address. The message inside ... Read More
Only Suckers Try to Make Magical Childhood Memories for Their Kids Jul. 05, 2025
I refuse to try to build any more precious childhood memories for my kids. I'm just giving them fuel... Read More
Pick Your Poison: Heat Stroke or Air Conditioning? Jun. 28, 2025
If you asked my dad the top three causes of illness worldwide, here's what he'd say: No. 3: Walking ... Read More
Losing Contact Jun. 27, 2025
My contact manager, Outlook, won't open. It doesn't care how often I click. It says it's loading. Bu... Read More
Dying With Bette Jun. 20, 2025
We've all heard about people who suffer for their art. Normally, that doesn't apply to me. As an ove... Read More
Trump and Musk in Couples' Counseling: We Have the Transcript Jun. 07, 2025
COUNSELOR: Gentlemen, please have a seat. Thanks for coming today. I understand the two of you are n... Read More
Who Knows Where the Phones Go? Jun. 06, 2025
I reach for my phone. It's not in my pocket where it belongs. I'd had it out earlier over where I wa... Read More
Amazing Opportunities Just Keep on Coming May. 30, 2025
On X, the name for what's left of Twitter, I got a direct message from someone I'll call Hank Halsti... Read More
The 2025 Hurricane Season is All About Vibes, Baby May. 24, 2025
Storm riders, it's time to begin all rituals that induce good fortune. Knock on wood, harness the en... Read More
Pinnacles and Unforgettable Shebangs May. 16, 2025
You'd think I'd know the date of my wedding, but apparently you'd be wrong. As I write these words, ... Read More
A Long, Strange Trip: Stairway to Heaven Version May. 02, 2025
The 60s were an off-kilter adventure (much of which actually happened in the 70s). Imagine yourself ... Read More
An Open Letter to Mayors and City Council Members Everywhere Apr. 25, 2025
Dear Most High: Say you're moving around your city — not necessarily doing exalted mayor or se... Read More
Transcript of a Call to an Internet Service Provider Apr. 19, 2025
The following is a transcript of a phone call you made last month to your internet service provider ... Read More
English and I -- or Maybe Me Apr. 18, 2025
I have no facility with languages. I'm incoherent in Latin, French, Spanish and, far too often, in E... Read More
How to Meditate -- for the Chronically Anxious Apr. 12, 2025
Mindfulness meditation: It's all the rage. If you've been anywhere, talked to anyone or visited any ... Read More
Customer Disservice: No One Can Hear You Scream Apr. 04, 2025
The bill was for two unspecified injections weeks earlier. I remembered getting a free flu shot and ... Read More
