Forget asking why the chicken crossed the road; start worrying about finding yourself behind one (or many) on the road.

A new study by researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health found "increased levels of pathogenic bacteria on the surfaces and in the air inside cars traveling behind trucks that carry broiler chickens."

Commercial chickens bound for processing centers are typically transported in open crates on flatbed trucks. Previous studies have shown that these poultry cases are quickly contaminated with feces and bacteria. Some of it, not surprisingly, is apparently blown back onto following vehicles.

The Johns Hopkins study was conducted with cars driving two to three car lengths behind poultry trucks for 17 miles, windows down. Scientists detected increased levels of bacteria in and on the cars afterward, including antibiotic-resistant strains.

STORIES FOR THE WAITING ROOM

No more excuses for missing the hole: A Florida-based urologist has invented something called the UroClub, a golf club for duffers who, according to Dr. Floyd Seskin, can't spend four to five hours on the course without a bathroom break.

According to promotional materials, the UroClub is a camouflaged, sanitary portable urinal that looks like a regular golf club. It comes with an attachable golf towel that functions as a privacy shield.

"The UroClub is a viable health device," says Seskin, "as important as a driver and sand wedge in your golf bag."

The club sells for $24.95. For more information, visit uroclub.org.

NUMBER CRUNCHER

A single Baja Fresh fish taco from La Salsa contains 393 calories, 225 from fat. That's 38 percent of the recommended total fat intake for a 2,000-calorie daily diet.

It also contains 47 milligrams of cholesterol (16 percent); 367 mg of sodium (15 percent); 30 grams of total carbohydrates (10 percent); 4 g of dietary fiber (16 percent); 3 g of sugar; and 23 g of protein.

OBSERVATION

A good night's sleep or a 10-minute brawl or a pint of chocolate ice cream — or all three together — is good medicine.

— Science fiction author Ray Bradbury

BEST MEDICINE

While waiting for her new doctor to arrive, a woman perused his diplomas on the wall, realizing with a start that the doctor had attended the same high school as she had.

The doctor appeared. He was pale, very gray and slightly bent from old age. The woman couldn't help thinking how much faster some people age than others. She asked him if he had attended Lincoln High School, class of '49.

The doctor nodded.

"You were in my class!" exclaimed the woman.

"Really," responded the doctor. "What did you teach?"

PHOBIA OF THE WEEK

Mageirocophobia — fear of cooking

LAST WORDS

Here am I, dying of a hundred good symptoms.

— English poet Alexander Pope (1688-1744)

To find out more about Scott Lafee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.