DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and have a huge problem. Please help me. My mother was married to her third husband, Phil, for over a year. They were divorced two years ago because of his excessive drinking and because he was sexually aggressive with me. I was extremely happy the day he vacated our house.

About a month ago, he called my mom and said he had stopped drinking and found peace in religion and was a new man. Mom has been seeing him regularly now. In fact, they are planning to get married again — in Las Vegas. I asked Mom why she would consider marrying Phil again after all the things he did to destroy our family, and she said that everybody deserves another chance and, besides, he is the only man she has ever loved, including my father, her first husband.

I not only despise Phil, but I hate him for the things he said and did to me. He blamed it on alcohol, but regardless of the cause, I do not want that man living in the same house with me. My father is living in California, has remarried and has two young children, so I can't move in with him and his new wife. I called him, and he also suggested that I give Phil another chance, but I didn't want to hear that. Phil is definitely not getting another chance with me.

My mother said I could move in with a friend or relative. That means she cares more for Phil than she does for me. The only place I would feel comfortable would be living with my grandparents (Mom's mom). They would be willing to take me, but said I would have to obey their rules, and they are quite strict. The good thing is that I wouldn't have to change schools. I need your advice because I don't know what I should do. - Nameless, Phoenix, Ariz.

NAMELESS: I'm sorry you've been put in such a tough situation. Your grandparents are your lifeline right now, and I suggest you take it. Move in with them when your mom remarries Phil. There are far worse things than living in a strict household, as I'm sure you know. I don't think it will take you too long to adjust. Soon you'll be feeling at home.

Don't see your mother when she is with Phil and ask her not to bring him with her when she comes to visit you. Phil may deserve a "second chance," but not at your expense. He is a bad risk and should never be part of your life again.

Some men and women who have children shouldn't be called parents. Your mother is one of them.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.