Newspapers Still Provide More In-Depth News Coverage, by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: Our class is having a big discussion on the better way to stay informed about world happenings: to watch the evening news, to check the Internet or to read the daily newspaper. I've been nominated to write to you for your opinion on this subject. I'll send you a copy of our conclusion. — Bart, Tulsa, Okla.

BART: Television and the Internet can give the viewer up to the second coverage of breaking events, but in the overall picture, your newspaper wins out because you can read it wherever you are and whenever you want. Also, the newspaper can go into greater depth on a given story.

Reading is great brain stimulation and this gives a mental boost. I do watch the evening news and check the Internet on occasion, but I read my two local newspapers every day.

Besides, if people only watched television or the Internet to be informed, they wouldn't have the opportunity to read my column.

GO TO THE PARTY WITHOUT YOUR FRIEND

DR. WALLACE: I've been invited to a party, but my very best friend didn't receive an invitation. I want to go, but my friend said she'd be very angry if I went. What should I do? — Confused, Crown Point, Ind.

CONFUSED: Go to the party! Your best friend is being selfish by asking you not to go just because she wasn't invited. Good friends should make each other feel better, not worse.

TEEN NEEDS TO SEEK HELP FOR MOM'S EATING DISORDER

DR. WALLACE: My mother is 36 and a single mom. My parents were divorced five years ago and my father has remarried. My mother didn't date for a long time, but about six months ago she started dating Doug, who seems to be a nice guy. He, too, is divorced.

My concern is that since Mom met Doug, she has put herself on a strict diet and has been losing a ton of weight. I'm sure she's lost 20 pounds. She is now really thin but continues to eat like a bird. If she wasn't so old, I'd say she was anorexic.

Yesterday I told her she really looks thin, but she said she's still too fat. I'm really confused. What should I do? — Worried, Lake Charles, La.

WORRIED: Ninety percent of the people who suffer from the eating disorder anorexia nervosa developed it in their teen years, but, according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, people (usually females) up to age 50 have been known to become anorexic for the first time. So your concern is justified.

Talk to Doug about it. Tell him you're concerned that your mother has been losing too much weight, and you're afraid she might have an eating disorder. Ask him to encourage her to visit a doctor. Also, discuss the matter with other members of your family and your mom's friends — ask for their help as well. You shouldn't try to handle this matter alone. But don't stop seeking help until you're convinced that Mom is eating normally again.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE TUESDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Finish School Before Thinking About Marriage

DR. WALLACE: I'm in my third year of college and I have a huge dilemma. I've fallen head over heels in love with a girl who is a first-year student. We've only known each other for two months, but we're positive we're in love.

We plan to stay in school until the summer break, then get married and work for a year rather than return to college. We'll save up all the money we can and eventually return to college. That means I'll graduate in 2011 instead of 2010. My girlfriend says she'd be satisfied with two years of college. Then she wants us to start a family.

We told her family and they liked our plan, saying that we were very responsible individuals. But when we faced my parents, they had a fit! They were totally against my dropping out of school for a year. They also thought we were too young to think about getting married. If we followed our plan, I'd be 21 and she'd be almost 20. We are going to do whatever we think is best for us regardless of what others think, but I'd still like your opinion. — Rick, Bloomington, Ind.

RICK: I would not advise you to drop out of school for a year, especially since you would have only one year of study left before you receive your degree. Too often, unforeseen things pop up and that year turns into two, then three or more. The longer you're away from school, the more difficult it is to get back into the "college groove."

My advice? Don't get married until after you have your degree and your girlfriend has her two years of college. Then do your thing.

MORE FEMALES ATTEND COLLEGE THAN MALES

DR. WALLACE: I'm a college freshman and I'm shocked at the number of females who are attending Ball State University. Is it possible there are more females in college than males? — Dwight, Muncie, Ind.

DWIGHT: It's a fact. For the past 12 years, the proportion of women entering and completing college has topped that of men. And the lead, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, is widening. Before 1985, men held a wide lead in percentages attending college, but the gap kept narrowing; by 1995, the sexes were almost even. In 1996, college graduation rates for women topped men. Females also lead males in graduating from high school: 89 percent to 86 percent.

This means that more women are filling positions once held by men.

REACH OUT TO NEW FRIENDS

DR. WALLACE: Shannon is my very best friend. For a long time, she was sweet and kind, but now that we are older, she's trying to run my life. She is rude, bossy and gets upset with me over the simplest things. Not only that, she has been telling lies about me to my other friends. When I question her about this, she denies it. At school she often ignores me, but after school she is as sweet as honey.

What should I do? I keep hoping that she will revert back to the "good old-days," but I'm not so sure she will. Help! — Mary, McComb, Miss.

MARY: It's time to sever the "very best friend" relationship with Shannon; she is not a friend any longer. There could be many reasons why her personality has changed, but don't hang around with her just to find out what they are.

Don't bother telling her that you'll be spending less time with her — just do it. Actively cultivate other friendships and stop worrying about what Shannon is up to. You needn't rule her out of your life completely, but when you do see her, it will more likely be on your terms.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Friend Needs to Start Paying Her Part of the Meal

DR. WALLACE: About two weeks ago, my best friend and I went out for pizza after a basketball game. When it came time to pay for her share, she said she'd forgotten her money and would pay me later. Luckily, I had some extra money.

Last night she pulled the same "I forgot my money" routine, but this time I didn't have enough money to pay for her share. When that happened, she started crying — the manager said he would give us the pizza free. Even I didn't have to pay, but all this made me very embarrassed.

When I told my father what happened, he and I returned to the pizza place, thanked the manager and paid for the pizza. I know my friend will not pay me back for the first time I paid her share, plus she thinks she got a free pizza this time.

Should I tell her my father paid for the pizza and that she owes me $5 for both times she had no money, or should I just forget about everything and chalk it up to experience? I'll never go out with her again for food unless she "shows me the money." — Ripped, Rockford, Ill.

RIPPED: Tell your friend your father paid for the last pizza and that the treat was on him, but she still owes you for the first one. Then ask her when she's planning on paying you back, and make sure she does.

TEEN WANTS FAMILIES TO END SILLY FEUD

DR. WALLACE: I've got a huge problem. Jarret and I have been dating for over four months and everything was just great. He's 16 and I'm 15. Would you believe that his family bought the house directly across the street from ours? That was three weeks ago. Already my dad and his dad got into a huge argument because his dad parked their camper on our side of the street in front of our house. It boiled over and my mom and his mom started arguing. When it ended, the women were swearing at each other.

To make matters worse, Jarret and I got into a huge fight last night because he was defending his parents and I was sticking up for mine. The argument ended when Jarret told me he never wanted to see me again. I assume that means our relationship has ended — all because he moved close and our parents couldn't get along.

I don't need any advice because I'm just going to wait awhile to see if our families realize how silly they are to become enemies over something as stupid as parking a motor home. Please print my letter so everybody can, hopefully, "kiss and make up," especially Jarret and me. — Kim, Frederick, Okla.

KIM: I've done my part. Let's hope all the family members will do theirs. Seeing in print how immaturely they've been behaving should be the start of a few, "I'm sorry," admissions.

TEEN NEEDS TO WAIT TO PURSUE BOY

DR. WALLACE: My best friend and I like the same boy. We agreed to flip a coin to see who would be the one to pursue him. We agreed it would be foolish for both of us to go after the same boy. We flipped and I called heads, but the coin came up tails.

That happened last week, so I let Becky go after this boy. So far, she hasn't caught him. How long do you think I should wait before I go after him if my best friend fails? — Rita, Atlanta.

RITA: You lost fair and square; therefore, I think Becky should have a full 30 days to land her prize. Then it's your turn, unless Zach, Josh or Matt has caught your eye by that time.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Might Be Jumping to Conclusions About New Guy

DR. WALLACE: Recently, I met a guy at a holiday party. He was really nice and we exchanged phone numbers. He called and asked me out, and I said yes. We had a great time and he said he'd like to go out with me again. I said I'd like that.

He called again last week, and we went out again and both had a good time. He said he wanted to go out again and that he'd call me. Of course, I agreed.

Well, yesterday at the mall I saw him walking with another girl; they seemed very buddy-buddy, if you know what I mean. They weren't holding hands, but they were looking at each other in a sort of romantic way. At first I wanted to confront this guy and his female escort, but I chickened out.

Now I'm very upset, so upset that I could throw up. I finally find a guy I really like, but then I find him making goo-goo eyes with another girl! I'm sure "lover-boy" is going to call again. When he does, should I tell him off and not go out with him? Or should I just keep my big mouth shut and let him tell me about this girl when I confront him about her while we're on our next date? — Marsha, Jacksonville, Fla.

MARSHA: Patience, patience, Marsha! You may be jumping to a number of possible false conclusions. You've only gone out with him twice; you aren't going with each other. This means he hasn't betrayed you simply by being at the mall with another female. But more importantly, the girl he was with could have been a relative or a friend. Jealousy does strange things to our perceptions.

My advice is to say nothing about seeing him at the mall. He continues to date you, so it's obvious he likes you very much. I'd leave it that way. But if you can't, when you feel the time is right, ask him if he is dating someone else now and see what happens.

Maybe you didn't "chicken out" when you failed to confront him at the mall. Instead, you simply exercised reason and good sense. Let's hope so!

TEEN'S EX IS THE LOSER

DR. WALLACE: I had been dating Brad for about a month, and we had fun together. About a week ago, he really started to come on strong. I told him I wasn't going to get involved with him sexually, but he said not to make up my mind so fast; he would call me in a week for my final decision. He was sure my answer would be yes.

When he called, I told him I hadn't changed my mind. He hung up on me, but the thing that bothers me is that he called me a loser. I've never been called that before. I'm in the Honor Society, teach Sunday school and serve as a candy striper at our local hospital. I guess all I'm asking for is a few nice words from you. — Depressed, Vero Beach, Fla.

DEPRESSED: You are not a loser! But Brad is — big time. He lost an intelligent, mature and principled young lady.

FRUIT SKINS ARE SAFE AS LONG AS THEY ARE PROPERLY WASHED

DR. WALLACE: My mom and dad eat a lot of fruit, but they always peel off the skin of fruit from pears, apples, plums, apricots and peaches. They feel the skin contains a lot of harmful chemicals. I like the skin of fruit, but I don't want to get sick. Is the skin safe? — Rollie, Tupelo, Miss.

ROLLIE: If properly rinsed (held under running cool water for 30 seconds), the skins are safe to eat and provide needed fiber. An average-sized apple with the peel provides about 5 grams of fiber; half a cup of applesauce contains less than half that amount. Fiber is important because it helps maintain normal body functions and may reduce the risk of cancer.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Smoking Does Cause Serious Medical Issues

DR. WALLACE: You keep saying that smoking is harmful to the smoker and everyone else who breathes the smoke. I think you call it secondhand smoke.

Last summer our family visited my dad's mother and father in Galway, Ireland. Well, it just so happens that my grandfather and grandmother are both 75, smoke one pack of cigarettes each per day in the house, and are as healthy as they can be.

Please concentrate on teen crime, pregnancy and lost religious beliefs instead of harping about the "evils" of smoking. — Brian, Irving, Texas.

BRIAN: You're absolutely correct to state that we should immediately improve our programs (social, economic, educational) to curb violence and teen pregnancy and to encourage religious beliefs and a return to morality. But we also need to make young people aware of the medical problems associated with smoking. Smoking can and does cause a number of serious — often fatal — ailments, including heart and lung disease. Your grandparents are the exception to the rule, but, unfortunately, their good health doesn't mean that cigarettes are safe. For most people, they are not.

A GOOD LESSON FROM JOHN WAYNE

TEENS: Since writing this column, I've had the opportunity to meet and talk with many public figures including presidents Ford, Carter and Reagan. But my most cherished chat was with actor John Wayne.

The place was Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach, Calif., a few weeks before his death. The editor of the Orange County Register was a friend of John's and he invited me to meet "The Duke." I was shocked when I saw him lying in bed because he had lost a lot of weight — he was suffering from lung cancer.

When I was introduced to John, he informed me that he enjoyed reading my column for teens. During our chat, he answered my questions about his career: Which movie did you most enjoy making? ("The Quiet Man.") Which actress did you most enjoy working with in your many films? ("All of them.") What message do you have for our teen readers? ("I'd like to tell them that The Duke helped drive a herd of cattle from Texas to Kansas and fought the war on the Sands of Iwo Jima and survived. But I won't survive my addiction to cigarettes.")

Three weeks after our meeting, John Wayne died of lung cancer. His final words to me were: "Young man, you have a great responsibility to encourage young adults to be honorable human beings who respect law and order, and to love their country. And you must keep telling them to refrain from smoking; I wish I had been strong enough to break my addictive smoking habit."

I've taken John Wayne's advice and I keep telling teens of the "evils of smoking."

I hope his message will help convince you and our teen readers that tobacco products are a total waste of money and could be a serious, even fatal, health hazard.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Can Be a Friend to Ex in the Military

DR. WALLACE: Stephen and I dated for about seven months, but I broke it off because he started getting a bit too serious. When he continued talking about us getting married and having children, I ended the relationship. That was nine months ago. I haven't seen or heard from Stephen since, but at times I have thought about him.

Last week, I ran into his mother at the mall and was surprised to hear that he had joined the Marines and was in boot camp in California. She asked me to write to him; I told her that I would.

Now I'm not so sure it would be a good idea. I don't know what to say to him, and I'm not so sure he even wants to hear from me. What's your opinion? — Julie, El Paso, Texas.

JULIE: Write to him. He'll be thrilled to hear from you. Military personnel look forward to hearing from folks back home. Mail call and chow are about the only two enjoyable events during boot camp or basic training. Tell him about what's happening in El Paso and a little bit about what you've been doing in the past several months. Make it clear that you're writing as a friend.

DESIGNATED DRIVER SHOULDN'T DRINK A DROP OF ALCOHOL

DR. WALLACE: No lectures about teenage drinking, but please answer my question. Is it all right for a designated driver to carry out his duty if he has had some alcohol, but is completely sober? — Nameless, Galesburg, Ill.

NAMELESS: Any amount of alcohol in a driver's system will cause a drop in alertness to some degree. Therefore, designated drivers should never drive after consuming alcohol in any amount.

Dr. Richard Heyman, chairman of the substance abuse committee of the American Academy of Pediatrics, conducted a survey on teenage drinking. When it concerned designated drivers, nearly two-thirds of the participants between the ages of 16 and 19 said they always select a designated driver, but that 80 percent said they think it is all right for the designated driver to drink, just so long as he appears not to be intoxicated.

Now you are in the 20 percent who know that this is not acceptable. Be a good lad by informing your friends who drink that the designated driver will never allow alcohol to pass through his lips.

AVOID FRIEND'S FATHER AND HIS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR

DR. WALLACE: My best friend's father made a pass at me when I was at their house. I was shocked and told him I wasn't that kind of girl and immediately left for home. The next day I told my friend what happened. She said it was no big deal because her father flirts with all pretty women. I said her father scared me, and she said she'd have him apologize to me.

Now I'm really confused and don't know what I should do. My best friend is the only one I've told. — Scared, Birmingham, Ala.

SCARED: First, tell your parents exactly what happened. They will know what should be done. Do not visit your friend's house or talk with her father for any reason. Do not accept an apology.

Continue being friends with this girl, but do not bring up the issue of her father. Your best friend should not be blamed for the unacceptable behavior of a parent.