DR. WALLACE: I am now in my last year of high school and plan to attend college after I graduate. I participate in lots of activities. I'm president of the pep club, run cross-country, play in the band and am rehearsing as the lead in an upcoming theatrical production. Last year I maintained a high B average, and I plan to do as well this year.
My parents want me to concentrate on bringing my grade point average up my senior year, so I'll have a better chance of getting into the college they've chosen for me. They feel my school activities have taken away from my study time, hurting my grade point average. They believe that I should be an A student, but I don't think this is absolutely necessary, and besides a B-plus average is very good! I enjoy my extracurricular activities and would be terribly disappointed if I had to give them up. Help! — Emma, Birmingham, Ala.
EMMA: It's important to have a good grade point average to get into college, and with a high B average, you certainly meet this requirement. Your parents need to understand that colleges and universities, including the best schools in the country — such as Harvard, Yale, Stanford and Knox — look favorably on students who participate in extracurricular activities as well. Such participation demonstrates a well-rounded education.
A study of over 700 high-school valedictorians, conducted by the University of Michigan, showed that 87 percent took part in at least one extracurricular activity and 76 percent were involved in two or more. Top students have many interests and usually find a way to be involved in activities above and beyond their studies.
By the way, I hope that you, and not just your parents, have input into which college you attend next year. It's your future, after all.
THERE IS NO CURE FOR AN ALCOHOLIC
DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and the guy I'm dating is 22. He's a great guy and I care about him very much. He's a lot of fun to be with because of his marvelous sense of humor. The only concern I have is that he's a former alcoholic. He says he hasn't touched alcohol in over a year. He went to a clinic and says he is totally cured. I read that alcoholism can't be cured. Please tell me the true facts. — Tanika, Alliance, Ohio.
TANIKA: An alcoholic can live an alcohol-free life, but there is no "cure," as such, for alcoholism. That is, the recovering alcoholic can never relax his guard and assume that, because he's "cured," a drink or two will do him no harm. That is simply not true. One drink could reactivate the addiction. Alcohol will always have this power over him.
One of the best organizations to help keep an ex-drinker free of alcohol is Alcoholics Anonymous. It's a wonderful organization. Ask your friend if he's a member of AA. If not, suggest he join. Have him check the white pages of the phone book for the nearest chapter.
MATURITY MORE IMPORTANT THAN AGE
DR. WALLACE: My parents have set a "start dating" age of 16 and a half for me. I've got three months to go, which means I will be the only girl in the 11th grade whose parents won't allow her to date. And I'll miss all the holiday events, while all my friends will be enjoying them. I always get above-average grades and I'm not a problem at school. I'm a pretty good kid at home, too.
I think my dad, a lawyer, and my mom, a dentist, are completely out of touch with reality. Your thoughts, please. — Celeste, Newark, N.J.
CELESTE: You may or may not be mature enough to start dating before that magic date in January, but my disagreement with your parents is in their letting the calendar do their decision-making.
Maturity is not a function of chronological age. In my opinion, parents should be willing to cut the apron strings and allow their teen to start dating once she has: A) expressed an interest in doing so; and B) demonstrated maturity and trustworthiness. This usually occurs sometime after the teen turns 15.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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