"Bowie has a girlfriend," I announced to my husband. "She's a golden retriever and her name is Susie."

"That's unlikely," he said. "Did you forget that he's neutered?"

"He can still enjoy a girl dog's company," I replied.

I looked over at Bowie sprawled out on the living room rug. He had just returned from his daily midday walk with several other dogs, including the cute new retriever. According to the dog walker, Bowie and Susie had become very close and walked next to each other each time they went out. It may not have been a mad, torrid affair, but it certainly seemed to be a small canine romance.

I could see what he saw in her. She was cute and petite, well-mannered and could fetch a ball like nobody's business.

Susie was actually the dog walker's new dog, and he and I were both pleased with the match. We wondered if we should announce their engagement and start a registry for them so they could get his and hers matching dog food bowls and a nice, big dog bed built for two. I wondered if maybe we should send them on a doggiemoon, at a place that had a great pool with a swim-up bar that served Milk-Bone margaritas.

Things between the two of them seemed to be going along doggone well. But then one day, I noticed something different.

"Where's Susie?" I asked my dog walker.

"Oh, she's home," he said. "She got THE surgery."

I nodded. Then I looked at the group and noticed a new dog.

"Who's that new golden?" I asked my dog walker.

"That's Moxie!" he said brightly. "She and Bowie got along great."

"What's this?" I thought. "My dog canoodling with another canine? While Susie was indisposed, nonetheless?" I narrowed my eyes at Bowie. Could it be that my dog was seeing another retriever on the side? Was he...

A doggie Don Juan?

"Does Susie know about this?" I asked my dog walker.

"About what?"

"About Bowie and Moxie?"

"No. Moxie is new to the group and Susie hasn't met her yet."

That night, I had dinner with my husband while Bowie lay at our feet. I looked down at the sleeping dog and thought sleeping dogs don't lie, but apparently ours does, and he was hiding his affair from his soon-to-be wife. This couldn't end well. Hell hath no fury like a doggie scorned.

"Honey," I said. "Bowie was in a relationship with Susie, but now he's two-dogging her and I don't know what to do."

My husband stared at me. "You really do have too much time on your hands since the kids left, don't you?"

"No, I'm serious. Susie, Bowie's fiance, was home sick, and Bowie started flirting with the new dog, Moxie. I think he's having a midlife canine crisis."

"Nothing wrong with looking," said my husband, distractedly.

My jaw dropped and I stared at him.

"Are you telling me you look at other women?"

"What? No. I was talking about Bowie!"

"I don't think you were," I said. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

The dog heard me raising my voice and stood up... next to my husband. The two of them stared at me in fear. But then Bowie slunk away. He knew a losing side when he saw one.

"Well," I said. "What do you have to say?"

My husband whispered, "I think I'm in the doghouse."

Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, "Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble," available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online! You can visit her at www.tracybeckerman.com

Photo credit: Richard Brutyo at Unsplash