Dear Family Coach: My son is 10 years old. He recently walked into the house, looked at me and said, "What's up, b——!" I was dumbfounded, but when I told him I felt hurt he laughed and walked off. From here on out, I plan on washing his mouth out with soap when he curses. It's the way my mom handled my brothers. Is that fair? — Soapy Susan

Dear Soapy Susan: Is it fair? Maybe, maybe not. Is it wise? No, without a doubt.

Washing a child's mouth out with soap doesn't teach him not to curse or disrespect women. Nope. The only thing it teaches him is that soap tastes nasty. And that isn't actually a lesson at all because, even without tasting soap, we know it's no genre of delicacy. In fact, if there's anything that might make me want to curse it's getting my mouth washed out with soap.

You need to pull your son aside for a one-on-one discussion. You can't do this via text or a note. It must be you and your son, alone. Tell him, in very clear terms, that using that sort of language in your presence, and especially toward you , is 100 percent inappropriate and will not be tolerated. Feel free to go into detail; let him know that calling a woman the b-word is a violation of decency and that a real man doesn't speak in such a manner.

It is appropriate to punish a boy his age (within reason), but I'd hold off and see whether your conversation has the desired effect. If he ceases to curse, let him know how proud you are of his respectful behavior. If he continues to use the b-word, make it clear that he will be completely ignored when he uses that language. You only cook, shop and drive around kids who show respect for their parents and others. Simple as that.

Dear Family Coach: My daughter is a high school sophomore, and a boy recently asked her out to a Green Day concert at a nearby arena. She's a good kid, and the boy is nice. But I'm nervous about letting her go on a date and also having that date be a rock concert where there will be a bunch of drunk and high adults. What should I do? — Scared Papa

Dear Scared: This isn't an easy one, but I'm inclined to not let your daughter go. It'd be one thing if we were talking about a Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez concert, where the attendees would be closer in age. But Green Day (a band I love, by the way) draws people closer to my age than hers. That alone would make me very uncomfortable.

I would offer two options, if possible. See whether there's another ticket available, and offer to act as a chaperone. If that (predictably) goes over like a can of moldy tuna, tell her that you're uncomfortable with the scene, that you're not ready to let her go on a concert date but the they are welcome to go to a movie or a play or something more local and predictable. Make it perfectly clear that you trust her (which it sounds like you do), but you don't trust the scene. She will probably be disappointed. But don't worry. She will get over it.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.