Dear Family Coach: My husband isn't really capable of taking care of our children on his own. It has been a struggle in our marriage. Now I have an out-of-town wedding but am worried about leaving the kids with their dad. I really want to attend this wedding. What can I do now? — Desperate Mom

Dear Desperate: I hear this one time and time again. The wife has to do everything because the husband doesn't fill the bottles correctly. He makes a mess of the laundry and he can't cook a healthy dinner to save his life. He definitely can't put the kids to sleep, and if left to his own devices he would have the children up until midnight eating cold pizza and watching "The Hunger Games." It would probably be unsafe to leave your kids with their father for the weekend. You can't go to the wedding.

Ha. I'm kidding, Desperate. I'm kidding.

You must go to the wedding. This advice will save your marriage. You can thank me later. Here's how you can work toward feeling comfortable leaving the kids.

Before you do anything else, take a look at your behavior first. What have you done to contribute to your husband's lack of ability regarding the kids? Have you criticized his methods? Did you take a crying baby out of his arms to soothe it because you felt he wasn't doing a good enough job? Often this dynamic has been carefully — albeit unknowingly — crafted.

Here's the bottom line: Your husband can do this. Start by backing off when you are together as a family. Allow your husband space to parent his way. As long as he isn't playing with them in traffic, you should bite your tongue. Then, set him up not to fail. Prepare some meals ahead of time. Leave a schedule and lists with all the important numbers. Plan an activity for him and the children with your sister-in-law two towns over. Also, allow him to be him. These are your days away, and that's great. But if — absolute worst-case scenario — he and the children spend two straight afternoons watching football, or boxing, or even absorbed in a Star Wars marathon, they'll survive. And so will you.

Dear Family Coach: I have a 10-year-old daughter who is brilliant (she scores in the 99th percentile on all standardized tests and is in the gifted program). But she struggles with controlling her emotions. Something that would be a non-event to another child will upset her greatly. Conversely, she'll be somewhat loud in class, and she will think that her behavior is funny when it's not. How can I coach her to act more appropriately? — Worried

Dear Worried: Your description of your daughter is a common one among exceptionally intelligent children. While they are academically gifted, these kids often struggle with basic social skills and dealing with their emotions. Many gifted children are also exceptionally sensitive, but lack the ability to manage some complex emotions.

Try to put words to the emotions you are seeing whenever possible. For example, say: "Wow, you look so excited," or "Oh, I can see how disappointed you are." This can help her learn a vocabulary for her emotions. Once she has the words for the feelings she will be better equipped to handle them. I also recommend finding a local support group for gifted children or a program for social skills. You can ask the guidance counselor at school for some suggestions.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.