Dear Family Coach: Every year my kids have a very hard time getting back into the rhythm of school and homework. I know it's summer, but I want them to do a bit of schoolwork with a tutor so they don't get rusty. My friends are getting tutors for their kids, too. My husband says I should back off and let them forget about school for the summer. Is he right? — School-Wise Mom

Dear School-Wise: I'm leaning heavily toward your husband's philosophy. You are absolutely correct that children lose some ability during the summer months. That loss can make school feel like a struggle in the fall. But getting back to the grind is part of that struggle, too. It's not just about the loss of ability. It's about having to set an alarm clock and get up early. It's about rushing to water polo and band practice and SAT tutoring. However, I don't think tutoring all summer will fix the problem. Furthermore, you run the risk of burning them out. Give them a break, and let them be kids. Soon enough their summers will be just like their winters: filled with work.

Instead of hiring a tutor, find creative ways to keep their brains active without them realizing. Spend evenings around a campfire, listening to a book on tape as a family. Cook a meal from scratch, and have them double the recipe and do all the calculations for the ingredients. Make slime or a homemade rocket with a bottle of soda and Mentos. Have them write letters to a friend at camp or a pen pal to keep their spelling, grammar and handwriting fresh. Lastly, take some time to travel and explore places where they can learn about the world or another culture. Your kids will be learning, you can put the tutoring money toward their college education and you will all have a lot more fun this summer. I say dump the tutor.

Dear Family Coach: Our daughter is interested in everything. She constantly wants to do more activities. I want her to be able to make decisions and prioritize them because she sometimes can't do it all. She will have to make choices. I could easily cut her schedule, but it would be better if I could teach her how to do it. How do we teach balance? — Busy Mom

Dear Busy: Why can't she do it all? Is it a financial concern? Is she ignoring other responsibilities, such as chores and homework? Do her activities make her exhausted or cranky by the end of the day? Are you missing family time? The answers to these questions is how you teach balance. Children aren't born understanding the demands of life and family. They are free spirits. It's amazing that your daughter is excited by all the world has to offer. I bet if you had a child who never wanted to try anything you'd wish for more of a joiner. I'd start by praising her for her diverse interests.

To help her manage all her activities, find a particular issue to discuss. She won't understand the general concept of balance. But she could understand that there is a limited pool of money that your family pulls from for a variety of needs, and there is only so much devoted to extracurriculars. Or, tell her that time spent together is the most important family value. Explain that all her activities take the family in different directions. Lastly, try limiting her activities for her. It will start out as your sense of balance, but it will eventually become hers.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Roman Boed