Dear Family Coach: We live in the city. On the weekends, many parents leave their kids alone in their apartments while they visit their country houses. Their kids often have parties while they're gone. I have forbidden my 15-year-old son from attending parties when a parent isn't home. My son is complaining that he doesn't have any friends because that's where kids socialize. Should I let him attend unsupervised parties? —Freaked Out

Dear Freaked Out: I am shocked — shocked! — that in the era of the helicopter parent there are still some who leave their children unsupervised. Who knew?

There are a few layers to your question. Let's peel them back. What happens at these parties? Presumably, some kids are drinking, some are smoking, and (I'm guessing) some are hooking up in the back bedroom. What parent would willingly send a child to party with all that going on? Well, let's ponder ...

If your son wants to drink or smoke or hook up (if that's what it's still called) he can find a way. Some parents are home for their kids' parties, but they are checked out. Sure, you can call the parents, and they may say they'll watch the kids, but in reality, they could hole themselves up in the master bedroom and binge-watch Dexter on Netflix while the party rages in the living room. Having parents around is no guarantee that your son will be protected. Furthermore, your son is trying to tell you that he has no friends. Many of us have been there — and it stinks. Going to parties at this age is important to help teenagers forge friendships outside the classroom.

Let him go to a few parties on a trial basis. Ask him to be forthright about what is going on. If he tells you that some of the kids were drinking, or that he had a drink, thank him for his honesty. Ask him how he handled the situation, like how he got home. Advise him and talk openly about how to handle these situations in the future. It's never easy, but the time has come for you to begin letting go. There will be some unpleasant adventures you wish he would avoid. But you can't micromanage him forever. Give your son the tools to manage these tough situations, and he will fare much better when he is really on his own.

Dear Family Coach: My 7-year-old daughter is really attached to me. This is due in part to my work as a freelancer. Because I'm home most of the time, I am able to drop her off at the bus, taxi her to after-school activities, and I'm always there for her when she gets bumps and bruises. I love this time together, but I worry she is too attached. Should I hire a babysitter so she can grow and develop more on her own? — Daddy Daycare

Dear Daddy: You and your daughter are lucky to have the opportunity to spend so much time together. You are lucky to have such a close bond. Many fathers would like to be in your position. Hiring a babysitter won't guarantee that your daughter will develop a more independent constitution. She may just attach to the sitter. And meanwhile, you will lose out on your precious time together. That would be a shame. By all means, hire a sitter if you feel you need a little more time to work on your own interests. But don't do it for your daughter's sake. You are giving her a gift by sharing so much of your time. If you don't smother her, and if you offer her many opportunities to be independent, she will grow up just fine. Trust me, before long you'll be wishing she hung out with you most of the times instead of her friends.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.