There Are Some Virtuous Women After All

By Cheryl Lavin

March 1, 2012 4 min read

Tyrannosaurus Beth hit quite a nerve. She's the woman who recently criticized women who "sleep with men they barely know; have affairs with married men; date a succession of bums; stay in relationships with creeps who treat them and their children with contempt; and willingly shack up with men while serving as their unpaid cooks, housekeepers, and nannies."

She wondered if she were the only one with morals. It appears not!

GRETCHEN: I'm definitely on her side. In fact, it's become de rigueur for women to live with men and have their babies but never marry them. To me, that's like sitting on a teeter-totter with you and an elephant on one end and the man on the other end — unfettered, unworried, no responsibilities, free as a bird.

ABBY: Finally, I don't feel so alone! I'm 47, never married and I absolutely refuse to settle for something less than what would be honorable to God. I've made peace with the fact that it most likely means I'll die single. Incidentally, in order for a man to have a virtuous woman, he needs to be deserving of her. I haven't come across any who are.

SHANNON: I've made mistakes, fortunately, not ones that screwed up my life up or anyone else's. And I eventually learned that everything Beth said is right. Want respect? Then act respectable.

Be choosy. If women were more selective about the men they let in their bed, then immature, loser males would never get the chance to make women miserable or become deadbeat dads.

On the other hand . . .

MARY: If Beth considers women who engage in sex thoughtlessly "floozies," what name does she give to the women with multiple marriages and divorces? Are they "virtuous" simply because their promiscuity is legally documented?

RJ: I don't believe that "virtue" precludes being sexually active. Virtue is more about personal honesty and dignity than chastity.

WANDA: Yes, Beth, you are a dying breed. Thank God. I'm tired of being judged by narrow-minded people like you who think your morality is the only correct one.

Just because you equate being promiscuous with a lack of self-respect, doesn't make that true for others. I consider myself promiscuous in the sense that I've had sex with many partners, but I am certainly not lacking self-respect.

If being a floozy means I can have the kind of sex I want, with who I want, then I'm a floozy. Please don't mistake this for having no standards. I have incredibly high standards.

Here's my moral code — short and sweet — live and let live. Do no harm. Judge not, lest ye be judged. Act with kindness and compassion.

AMANDA: I came of age in the 70s, when casual sex was accepted. I had sex when I wanted to. When I didn't want to, I didn't. I used birth control and practiced discretion. I met a young man, fell in love quickly and we're still in love. I don't feel the need to defend what I did because it's nobody's business, and I don't feel defensive about it.

Has your moral code changed during the years? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected]. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

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