Q: It seems to be very difficult to motivate my sixth-grade daughter to study. She started off sixth grade pretty well (A's and B's) but then got a C on an exam in science and now in math, so grades are slipping. She is good at doing homework, is very engaged in class, enjoys school a lot and talks about what she has learned unprompted. However, it seems that she doesn't think she needs to put extra effort in for exams, so she just gets homework done and goes off to TV. Even when I ban the TV and say she has to study, she putzes around, and I end up badgering her and messing up my own work time.

A: You've done a very good job of describing your daughter's problem, so I'm hoping my suggestions will help her understand that studying makes a positive difference. She received A's and B's at the beginning of the year, but in the beginning of the year, teachers usually review the previous year's work. Most early lessons are planned to help children recover from the learning they may have lost over the summer months. Reviewing is good for restoring their confidence in learning; not much studying is required. After the first month, teachers are likely to introduce more new work, and of course, that is also more difficult. If your daughter didn't really require the early review — remembering much of it — the first month seemed easy for her. Either she doesn't believe that studying would actually improve her grades or she doesn't think her grades are important.

My first suggestion to you is to provide her with some understanding of why grades are important. You can explain to her that you don't expect perfection, but let her know that the better her grades are the better her opportunities will be in the future. For example, some very interesting middle- and high-school classes are open only to students with A or B averages. College and scholarship opportunities increase with higher grades. Self-confidence increases with high grades, and you can point out to her that you and her dad would also be proud of her for her strong independent efforts.

The second part of your plan is to tell your daughter that she should do an experiment with how more study impacts grades. You can tell her you are willing to give her extra spending money to help her with the experiment. You can offer to put quarters (A's) or dimes (B's) into a cookie jar for her for every A or B grade she earns weekly. Don't start too high, because she may have as many as 15 or 20 grades a week, and every grade should count. Please add that you'll also give her some study tips for studying each kind of subject. Her teacher may be able to suggest some to you, or your can find them in Chapter 3 of my book "How to Parent So Children Will Learn" or on my Student Stepping Stones study cards. If she adds about 10 minutes to a subject daily, she's likely to elevate her grades by at least one letter grade. You may want to encourage her to begin with only one subject — the one she likes best — to prove that the experiment works. Once she finds she can improve her grades to A's and B's, she'll set them as realistic expectations and become much more motivated. Her entire persona will change if she views herself as an excellent student.

You will have to be patient. Expect this change to take at least six months, with some ups and downs. No punishments are needed; just continually point out how her efforts are effective.

There is one more issue to consider. If a particular subject is very difficult for her even after independent study, be sure to encourage her to ask her teachers for help. Teachers are usually very glad to explain material when students ask, and knowing when to get help would be of good use to her for the rest of her life.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or [email protected]. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.