Q: What is your feeling about children going into competitive high schools versus average high schools?

A: Highly competitive high schools are good for those students whose skills and work ethic will allow them to keep up with the breadth and pace of the work. Every student should feel reasonably challenged in school, but some students would feel very overwhelmed at a highly competitive high school. If your children are in a public school environment that's highly competitive, you can help them cope by explaining that their school will equip them well for college and that you don't expect perfection. Instead, you want them to work hard but balance this with friendships and some fun.

You can also explain that feeling average in a high-quality school can be as good as feeling as if you're at the top in a lower-quality school. Both can prepare you equally well if you're willing to put forth effort or equally poorly if you don't do your best. The quality of the teaching in every school does make a dramatic difference.

If you are considering having your children go to highly competitive independent schools, they, too, have some special advantages and disadvantages. Their usual advantages can include an excellent curriculum, smaller classes and very fine and committed teachers. Some colleges will prioritize the graduates of independent schools over those of some public schools. There can also be some real disadvantages of independent schools. The major one is that they are costly. With the rising tuition costs at universities, most parents would need to determine priorities, and saving some funds for post-high school education would be important.

There are also both advantages and disadvantages of peer groups in independent schools. Though 100 percent of the students are planning to attend college (some would consider that an advantage), private schools may have more than their share of overindulged children precisely because of tuition. Students who don't worry about their family finances and drive sporty vehicles can also get into costly problems and can cause students from families with more modest incomes to feel deprived and different.

Public high schools in our country tend to provide a great variety of excellent curricula, so no family should feel that children attending public high schools are deprived of a good education. Furthermore, the introduction of Advanced Placement courses to public high schools has provided significant readiness for college for all students. Most public high schools also provide opportunities for students to enroll in courses that aren't available in high school, at community colleges or even at local four-year universities. Those experiences assist students in later adjustment to colleges. In summary, there simply is not one right answer to your question. Fortunately, there are many choices available to teens today.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or [email protected]. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.