Q: What advice do you have for our son who is underachieving because he only does the bare minimum of what is expected? He earns B's when he's perfectly capable of putting in a little effort to achieve A's. Should we be concerned about this, or is this OK, because he is super-sensitive about being perfect, is comfortable with doing what he needs to, and doesn't need to receive an A to feel good about himself?

A: I think it's reasonable that your son can set his goals at B's if he thinks that is his capability, but apparently you think he has more ability than that. He must at least be doing his assignments and behaving responsibly, and that is surely better than irresponsibility, which would probably yield him D's and F's. You might point out to him that there are advantages and disadvantages of his philosophy.

The main advantages of putting forth less effort are that he'll have more time for fun, won't worry much about his grades on tests and won't alienate friends who prefer to think they're smarter than he is.

There are also some disadvantages, which he may not be concerned about now but at least should think about. There are many colleges that won't accept a straight-B student, although there are plenty of lesser colleges that will. There are many high-level career tracks for which he will close all possibilities. For example, if he is hoping to go into medicine, veterinary science, high-level business or physics, he's unlikely to qualify or even have the skills to continue in these fields. He is clearly closing doors for himself in many areas, although there are many directions he can continue to qualify for.

Most of all, he's denying himself the opportunity to build good self-confidence by basically accomplishing only those things that he finds easy. He knows that any student can accomplish easy tasks. It is only when a person views a task as difficult, then breaks down the task into parts, and gradually accomplishes what he earlier believed was too hard that he takes one small step up the ladder of self-confidence. When one can accomplish what appeared to be difficult, it gives one the courage to accept challenges in other areas. If your son avoids challenges, he will gradually assume that he is less able than he actually is.

If B's represent reasonable hard work, your son and you should be absolutely satisfied with his efforts. If they are truly bare minimum, although those are better than less than minimum, he'll probably look back with disappointment. With maturity and a sense of direction, you can hope that true motivation will help him to accomplish his eventual goals. There are plenty of accomplished people who started with some underachieving and then corrected their problems.

If you can inspire him to be more productive and work harder, that would be best for him. You definitely will not be able to punish him into improving his grades. He may just meet a hardworking girlfriend in high school who can help inspire him with you. Many male underachievers reversed their underachievement when a young woman believed in them.

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Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or [email protected]. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.