DEAR SUSAN: I must agree with you about life in full view around our children. About 15 years ago, I divorced my husband and, with two adolescent daughters, began life as a single parent. Although, like your reader Kate, I also needed love and sex, I chose to keep my relationships out of my home until I was certain the man and I were headed for something long-term. On the other hand, I lived life in full view with my children when it came to managing finances. I sincerely believe that when raising children, we parents must make very difficult decisions about what part of our lives are to be lived in "full view" of our children, and I think you may underestimate the ability of a "small psyche" to grasp mature ideas. My question for Kate: How many men did you bring home, and how long did each relationship last? Bringing home a few good men over 10 years is significantly different from bringing home a new man every month, don't you think? In the end, a child becomes an adult, and adults are expected to overcome any "traumas" experienced as children. Kate's daughter is, if our school system's promise is true, taught to think things through and seek help with any problems. She will probably survive any of her mother's antics. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Antics? I'd say a single mom's bringing home the man of the week (or the month) to become her sex partner, in full view of her children, is perhaps the biggest of all no-nos for a single parent. Picture this: Noises from the shared bedroom, some of which can sound aggressive, reach ears too little to understand them. Breakfast the morning after can well be a scene of discomfort for both generations. So many questions (verbalized or not) remain, to be part of the children's concept of sexual activity for a long, long time. Perhaps in the future, they will be talked through with a counselor; then again, don't count on it. (The mental health in our country is not exactly tiptop.) Meanwhile, the pass-through of sex partners is continuing to flow, and the questions continue to mount — unanswered. This mother is doing a huge injustice to her small family. But, as she so adamantly maintained, it was her right to live her life "in full view." Hers are not antics, and schools aren't primary influences. Case closed — for the moment.

DEAR SUSAN: Here's a topic for future columns: dating discrimination against (dare I say this politically charged word?) fat people. As someone who is herself fat, I don't know how often I've heard guys say that they can't find anyone or that there aren't any great women available. Well, wake up, men; open your eyes and see the fat girls! I consider myself to be a really nice person who would be a great catch for anyone, but a lot of guys simply won't or don't look beyond "the chubby thing." How many times in personal ads do you see a phrase to the effect of "fat girls need not apply"? I'm Irish, and they used to use a similar phrase about Irish men looking for work. How long before we put "fat girls need not apply" into the (ancient) history books where it belongs? — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: That bit of editing will happen when women stop excluding men who don't measure up — literally. If you only knew how many sad tales come my way from men whose sole deficiency is a few inches. They have it all, but when women read their height, it's thumbs-down. How absurd is that?! One time, I suggested to such a man that he fudge the numbers a tiny amount and perhaps get himself a pair of elevator shoes. Was I ever blasted for the suggestion! How dare I, a reputable advice columnist, tell someone to fudge the numbers! (A blast from the past that to this day makes me squirm!) I'd probably give the same advice if asked again, men. So perhaps you guys can see your way to dating someone who has an extra layer of blubber around the middle but who may well fulfill all your dreams of a really great woman. Yes, I know very well how you men detest fat, but if you open yourself to consider such a woman, who may have excess poundage but in every other way fills the bill, you might just hit the lottery. And — gulp — there's always Weight Watchers.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].