DEAR SUSAN: A while ago, you asked readers how we feel about being single. Well, I know that being married doesn't solve emotional problems. For me, as a single man, marriage makes little sense. Half of current marriages will dissolve sooner or later, and too many are intact when they shouldn't be. It's very difficult (impossible for most) to stay satisfactorily married to the same person for 40 or 50 years of one's life. (Even 10 years is challenging for many!) What's the point? I look at newlyweds and feel only sorrow for the pain that's coming to the majority of them. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: You had me along on your ride for the first heartbeats, until your downbeat view of things came across as hopeless; that's when you lost a passenger. Between the two of us, it's almost a known fact (though it still lives on in the hopeful) that marriage is no panacea; and those who come to it under that illusion are doomed to be outright cynics by the end of the honeymoon. Too many of us sail into matrimony on gossamer wings, dreaming visions that cannot possibly survive the first cold wind of reality. Most of us, including me, didn't know the first thing about marriage, are not at all equipped to work things out with a partner, and turn and flee instead of standing firm and seeing things through — the gutsy way. But — listen up — everything I've seen, been privy to and personally experienced has left me firmly convinced that harmonious marriage, a true kinship of spirits, is the very best way to take this journey. That's my view of the institution we call marriage — seasoned and optimistic but only one voice in the wilderness. Readers, I'd like to hear yours.

DEAR SUSAN: I've been in a wheelchair for seven years, and for all that time, I've tried to find somebody to love me when I love her. The women I meet all seem to be afraid of me, so I'm ignored. What I'm trying to say is that I need somebody; I'm tired of this single life. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Ooh, those cold showers. They make goose bumps, but they also jog the little gray cells to reach a solution (with a deep bow to Hercule Poirot). The product of those showers is not always workable, but at least it's a good start to the solution you are bound to cobble together.

Finding love is tough enough under ideal conditions (are there any?), but being in a wheelchair adds mightily to the challenge. Women are definitely intimidated when they must bend to look into a man's eyes (even if those eyes are filled with tenderness and longing, as yours are). You need an intermediary, someone to bridge those few inches so significant when woman meets man. Having a friend — preferably female and easy on the eyes — standing near you will defuse any reluctance women might have and at the same time testify to your desirability. You may be in a wheelchair, but that doesn't diminish your manly aura. No way.

My sense is that once you've bridged the space between you and womankind, once the woman is on your level (a powerful symbol), you'll handle the rest — and handle it well. There's someone very close to me who is also in a wheelchair, so I'm also very interested in navigating this distinct world. Let me know how my game plan works for you, what changes you've made in it, and your success rate; you only need one good woman to brighten your world. Keep in mind that you have more than a friend on this side of the computer. You have a comrade.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].