DEAR SUSAN: For four months, I've been writing to a man on an online dating site. We're both single, and he knows I'm already hung up on him. But now he says he doesn't want to write to me as often as before because it isn't fun anymore. What can I do to let him know how much I care for him? My feelings are hurt. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Four months does not a relationship make! Clearly, your neediness has gotten in the way of this man's dalliance. For that, you can give thanks. The man (little boy, really) has no use for "serious," and in time, you'd be really hurt — over and over, time after time. Every one of your outreaches would be rebuffed — and not so gently. And you don't want to be hung up by your heartstrings, so unhang them and come down to earth. You've been living in a fantasy, and what was fantasy to him was reality in your world. Well, it's over. And I hope you're learning not to lead with your heart; next time, hold something back until your new love proves himself worthy. And — most importantly — find other ways to fill the void. Help out at an animal shelter; adopt an abused dog or cat.

Come to your senses, girl, and funnel your hurt into a weekend potluck dinner for your girlfriends. Everyone in the crying (aka dating) game knows that the best way to soften the blow of unrequited love is to hear friends dissect it. C'mon, come back to the real world, where sincere people recognize each other's worth. Next time, put your neediness on a long leash — and find healthier ways to satisfy it.

DEAR SUSAN: I'm a divorced mother of twins, feeling quite lonely. Speaking with the other mothers at school is about the only socializing in my life. What can I do to make our lives better? — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Here's my pitch: Corral those mothers you sort of know and suggest starting a helping network. Have your facts straight about the number of single parents in your community, all of whom are potential members. If they're interested, ask them to your home for coffee. The network you're founding will have two genders, and the only qualifications are single parenthood and a helping instinct. Think of it; your twins could get the cool sleds they've been hankering for while trading in their outgrown shoes. Even as I write this, I'm enthusiastic; this network could mushroom into evening meetings, weekend programs, holiday outings. And while the network is doing its thing, new relationships could form — romantic and otherwise — and friendships will gel that would never have happened if it hadn't been for this connecting network. Yes, it could have potential as a social asset, but at first, keep it solely for helping one another. Best of luck!

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].