Summer holidays, with their sun-soaked hijinks and paranoia, loaded potato skins and baked-in fear of bodily harm, can get confusing.

Let's take the upcoming Fourth of July festivities. For example, is my neighbor lighting a celebratory roadside explosive to mark American independence, or is he firing 30 rounds at the pool guy?

Did a handful of festive sparklers and tittering bang-snaps activate my fight-or-flight, or should I pull out my trusty weapon of war?

Amazon delivery or John Wick situation? Backyard barbecue or "The Purge"? Pizza or peril?

Well, whatevs, right? While public library displays, school books and drag queens have been under strict government watch here in my state of Florida, guns tend to be a light-consequence zone. As demonstrated year over year, Florida's "stand your ground" law often lets people get away with freely shooting in the name of self-defense. Similar laws have spread all over the country.

The statute, which values a broad interpretation of personal protection, played out again recently. A Florida man opened AR-15 fire at another man who had come to clean a pool after dark. Remarkably, the pool cleaner emerged mostly unscathed.

The shooter wasn't charged; apparently, the pool guy should have said he was working late to avoid being shot at 30 times. Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gualtieri called the situation "lawful but awful." Honestly, a perfect new slogan. Where's our T-shirt guy?

If you thought things were going to get any less "Tombstone," hold onto your old-timey leather holster. Just in time for the raucous holiday with its hot dogs, snow cones and Katy Perry anthems, there's now even more leeway with firearms.

In April, Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a bill into law that lets people carry a gun with no permit and no training. That baby goes into effect Saturday. Saturday! The weekend everyone starts drinking White Claw at 10 a.m., slips into tank tops featuring bald eagles styled as Axl Rose and starts blasting fireworks called "DOUBLE THUMP" and "SNIPER FIRE."

What could go wrong?

This year, the holiday falls on Tuesday. Scholars have written that Fourths of July on Tuesdays are the world's biggest bummer, so staying inside is a decent option from a party rock perspective. But no one should have to live in fear, just like no one should have been forced to hide from Pride events.

Now, wait. I am not advocating for "faith over fear" T-shirts as a solution to these highly engineered ladders of political chaos. For starters, we already have a new T-shirt, which we reviewed above.

The reality is that we do live in fear. All the time. Every day. At schools, grocery stores, churches, concerts, parties, jobs. The failure of America's leaders to grasp straws of sanity on this issue, coupled with average folks' growing impulse to reach for weapons before asking questions, has left the country in an unstable position.

Unfortunately, there's not enough time to reverse the pendulum of history between now and Tuesday. There's only time to avoid uncles who want to dreadfully parse the language of the Second Amendment over the grill (cheese, no cheese, well-regulated militia, etc.).

Maybe, though, can we make a holiday pact? Just to get us through the week?

Expect loud noises and drunk boneheads rollicking on the loose. In all likelihood, neighbors have started shooting off BACON BIT BARRAGE Roman candles already, scaring all innocent local dogs. Hey, maybe the drunk bonehead is you. It happens, no hard feelings.

If any of these descriptions apply, take great care with your armaments and emotions. Don't turn to the gun as a first resort. Please don't shoot it in the air for a good time. Leave it home, locked up and safely kept from visitors, children and any passing drunk boneheads. Vow to enshrine your household as one that does not cause needless tragedy and pain. If it feels good, maybe do that forever.

Stephanie Hayes is a columnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her at @stephhayes on Twitter or @stephrhayes on Instagram.

Photo credit: Aleksandr Popov at Unsplash