Readers occasionally send me bloopers found in church bulletins. Some are probably authentic, and some are probably "pulpit" fiction. But who cares? Notice how double meanings or small "altar"ations in spelling and "sin"tax can lead to sentences that are "holy" hilarious.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Barbara C. remains in the hospital. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The "Over-60 Choir" will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.

The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.

Miss Charlene M. sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

We are happy to announce that we have secured the services of Rev. Struthers as our organist and choirmaster. We could not get a better man.

Today's passage for meditation: "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his wife for his friend."

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.

Remember the many who are sick of our church and community.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and hear our choir sing.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

When parking on the north side of the church, please remember to park on an angel.

Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm. — prayer and medication to follow.

Tom Johnson and Jessie Nelson were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Don't let worry kill you off — let the Church help.

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His new book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to [email protected] or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Photo credit: Shalone Cason at Unsplash