No experience is more delicious than catching someone in an act of hypocrisy. And that goes double when someone makes an error in grammar or usage while decrying the linguistic mistakes of others.

Whenever this happens, I always think of the scene in the film "Casablanca" when the gendarme Captain Renault raids Rick's casino and exclaims, "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!" A second later, the croupier presents Renault with the money he has just won at the gambling tables and says, "Your winnings, sir."

A similar classic case of highfalutin hypocrisy occurred recently in a national magazine. In the course of condemning the unnecessary "at" in sentences such as "Where are you at?" the magazine concluded, "Juliet didn't say: 'Wherefore art thou at, Romeo?'"

Good advice, poor example. Of course Juliet didn't use "at." "Wherefore" means, not "where," but "why." So she was asking, "Why do you have to be Romeo, a scion of the hated Montague clan?" Oops.

Now see whether you can spot the holes in these holier-than-thou pronouncements I've received from the grammar police:

1. Do schools not teach grammer anymore? 2. Good usage is going out of vogue. Unfortunately, by your statements in your column, you are hastening it's demise. 3. "'Prestige" is one of the few words that has had a different experience. 4. You wrote that the present particle of "lie" is "lain." Isn't that the past particle? 5. I can't believe the amount of usage errors I see in newspapers everyday!

6. Some people think they have free reign to abuse the English language. 7. I hate it when people flaunt the rules of grammar! 8. When I was in school, learning to diagram sentences was a right of passage. 9. Careless writers are reeking havoc with the language. 10. In your recent column, you mispelled the word "rhythm."

Your winnings, sir or madam:

1) grammar 2) its demise 3) have had (To determine the choice of verb, rearrange the sentence, e.g., Of the few words that HAVE had a different experience, "prestige" is one.) 4) participle (But she's right about my mischaracterization of "lain"; it is the past participle of "lie.") 5) A twofer! "Amount" should be "number" and "everyday" should be "every day."

6) free rein 7) flout the rules (Unless the person hates it when people show off, i.e., flaunt, the rules of grammar.) 8) rite of passage 9) wreaking havoc 10) misspelled (Indeed, I did misspell "rhythm.")

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to [email protected] or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, California, 90254.

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