"I could care less!"
How many times have you heard people say this when they really mean "I couldn't care less"?
After all, "I could care less" means that you actually DO care, at least enough to care less than you do.
Alas, despite all of our protestations, this emphatic but blatantly illogical declaration of indifference is spreading like a virus. Grammar doctors offer many excuses for this contagion:
— People are using "I could care less" ironically; it's as if they're saying, "Oh, yeah, like I really care!"
—"Couldn't" contains two glottal stops, so it's difficult to articulate.
—The "n't" sound in "couldn't" is smothered, so people don't hear it and thus think the correct version is "I could care less."
Regardless of its origins, "I could care less" is now so common that it's now an idiom — an expression whose meaning cannot be derived literally from its words. Think of your eccentric uncle whose words don't quite make sense yet still convey his meaning.
"I could care less" is one of many illogical idioms. Can you tell why these 10 common phrases contain slips in their wording?
1. You can't have your cake and eat it, too; 2. Head over heels; 3. Needless to say; 4. Meteoric rise; 5. Hot cup of coffee; 6. Falls between the cracks; 7. Near miss; 8. In the eye of the storm (to indicate someone who's in the midst of chaos); 9. Best foot forward; 10. Best in the world.
Explanations:
1. The sequence should be reversed: "You can't eat your cake and have it too."
2. If your head is over your heels, you're standing up, not upside down. "He's heels over head in love" would make more sense.
3. If saying it is needless, why are you saying it?
4. Meteors don't rise; they fall.
5. It's the coffee that's hot. Better: "cup of hot coffee."
6. If something falls between the cracks of the floorboards, it's still there. "Falls through the cracks" makes more sense.
7. Technically, a near miss would be a collision, as in "it nearly missed us." (But some argue that "near miss" IS logical because in this phrase "near" means, not "almost happening," but "close in distance," as in "a close call.")
8. The eye of a hurricane is actually its calmest part.
9. "Better" applies to two things; "best" refers to three or more. So unless you have three feet, it should be "better foot forward."
10. How can someone be "in the world"? Given that the Earth is a (mostly) impenetrable sphere, shouldn't it be "on the world"?
Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to [email protected] or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.
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