How much tougher was life in the old days?

When The Washington Post put that question to readers a while back, it received responses like these:

"In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction."

"In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads."

I wonder what would happen if I asked some of my older readers a similar question about changing standards of grammar and usage. Hmmmmm...

— In my day, we didn't even have "hopefully." Instead of saying, "Hopefully, his SUV has Apple CarPlay," we had to say, "It is to be hoped that his tribe has invented the wheel."

— In my day, we couldn't use "like" in any form. Instead of saying, "I like digitally enhanced, like, graphics, like she does," we had to say, "I prefer drawings similar to those on cave walls, as she does."

— In my day, we weren't allowed to use a possessive with an inanimate object. Instead of saying, "My cellphone's battery is completely dead," we had to say, "The entrance of my cave is completely blocked."

— In my day, we were forbidden to end a sentence with a preposition. Instead of saying, "This 500-channel cable TV is something worth waiting for," we had to say, "This newfangled thing called 'fire' is something for which it is worthwhile to wait."

— In my day, "none" was always singular. Instead of saying, "None of the constellations are visible," we had to say, "None of the gods who determine our fate is visible."

— In my day, we couldn't begin a sentence with "And" or "But." Instead of saying, "But I want to play Grand Theft Auto too!" we had to say, "However, I want to manipulate the abacus too."

— In my day, we couldn't say, "No problem." Instead of replying to "Thanks for your Wifi password" with "No problem," we had to reply, "Thanks for killing that woolly mammoth" with "You're welcome!"

— In my day, we couldn't use "myself" for "me." Instead of saying, "Please let Brittany and myself join your goat yoga class," we had to say, "Please let Thorg and me share your goat meat."

— In my day, we couldn't use "less" for countable items. Instead of saying, "He has less dollars than I do," we had to say, "He has fewer river stones than I do."

— In my day, we couldn't split an infinitive. Instead of saying, "I like to occasionally enjoy a scotch on the rocks," we had to say, "Occasionally I like to enjoy a flagon of mead while sitting on some rocks."

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to [email protected] or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, California, 90254.

Photo credit: Norm_Bosworth at Pixabay