Dear Carrie, My parents are in their 70s and sometimes need my help to pay medical, as well as other bills. This is starting to mount up. I can't claim them as dependents, but is there anything else I can do to help soften the financial blow? —A Reader

Dear Reader, People are living longer. That's the good news. But the downside is that more people are running the risk of outliving their money — and the younger generation is being asked to step in to fill the financial gaps. A recent nationwide Pew Research Center survey found that nearly a third of adults in their 40s and 50s provided some sort of financial aid to a parent age 65 or older in the past year. Interestingly, in the same survey, three-fourths of respondents said that adults have a responsibility to provide financial assistance to an elderly parent in need. That's a generosity of spirit I applaud. However, feeling generous doesn't make coming up with the money any easier.

Fortunately, helping your parents doesn't only mean paying their bills for them. You can also help them plan and make decisions that could perhaps lighten their financial burden — as well as your own.

Start with an honest assessment of your parent's finances

A lot of families don't like to talk about money, but now's the time for an open discussion with your parents about what they have, what they need and changes they may need to make.

Take a look at their income and assets. Make sure they're getting their full Social Security benefits. For instance, if your mother didn't work, is she taking the spousal benefit, which would be half of your father's benefit?

Do an inventory of their financial resources — CDs, pensions, IRAs, brokerage accounts. Review how their assets are invested and see if there's a way to increase their regular stream of income. You might set up a meeting with their banker or investment advisor to discuss how to help them maximize their income opportunities.

Discuss the possibility of downsizing or taking a reverse mortgage

This may be a sensitive issue, but it's worth considering. If your parents are still in the family home, a move to a smaller space might be a significant money-saver that would ultimately let them remain independent longer.

What about a reverse mortgage? As long as you do your research and understand the potential pitfalls, a reverse mortgage could be an effective supplement to your parent's monthly income. A lender can put you in touch with a HUD approved counselor who can advise you on the particulars.

Work with them on a budget

Getting a handle on your parent's monthlies may be the easiest and most practical way to help them — and help you determine which bills you can most easily pay.

First, take a look at their budget together and find ways to lower expenses. For instance, can they find a less expensive cable plan or take better advantage of senior discounts?

Then list all their recurring household and medical expenses. How much can they cover with their current income? Can you cover any gap? Perhaps you can agree to supplement a certain amount each month. Knowing that you'll have a set monthly obligation may make it easier for you to plan and adjust your own budget accordingly.

Get other family members to help

You don't say whether you have siblings, but if you do, talk to them about sharing the financial responsibilities. Other family members such as aunts and uncles or even adult grandchildren might also be willing to step up to the plate. If nothing else, it would be good to know you have a support system of people who understand the situation and are willing to offer what help they can should the need arise.

Check on possible tax benefits

As you suggest, it's difficult to get any tax benefits for caring for a parent. There are income requirements for claiming adult dependents that usually preclude this possibility as well as level of support requirements. For instance, for 2012, your parent's gross income (excluding Social Security) could be no greater than $3,800. Plus, you would have to prove that you provided more than half of their support. But it's always good to know the parameters just in case. If you're interested, "IRS Publication 501" has a section on exemptions for dependents that gives greater detail.

Also, keep the gift tax rules in mind. You can give up to $14,000 to as many individuals as you wish for 2013 without dipping into your lifetime exemption of $5.25 million. Spouses can split gifts so if you're married you could give $28,000 to each of your parents for a total of $56,000 this year without using your lifetime exemptions. Beyond that, if you pay medical providers directly on behalf of others, it doesn't count as part of the annual $14,000 exclusion.

Your parents are fortunate that you're able to help them, but I advise you to take care of yourself, too. Use their situation as a motivation to make sure that you continue to save for retirement and create an emergency fund. Then maybe you won't have to pass a similar financial burden on to your own family in your later years. Best of luck to all of you.

Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER(tm), is president of Charles Schwab Foundation and author of "It Pays to Talk." You can e-mail Carrie at [email protected]. This column is no substitute for an individualized recommendation, tax, legal or personalized investment advice. To find out more about Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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