AUSTIN — Happy birthday to us! No shortage of material for a Fourth of July column celebrating the nuttiness, diversity and rampageous, outsized je ne sais quoi (as we always say in Lubbock) that makes these shores such a treat to live on.

You must admit that we have more interesting heavyweight championship boxing matches than the average place. And a charitable organization has demonstrated our extreme flexibility by naming Rupert Murdoch "Humanitarian of the Year," an award that was presented by Henry Kissinger.

We live in a great nation.

On this, our 221st natal date, the economy is rocking along. True, the rising tide is lifting the yachts a lot faster than the rowboats, but it still beats a stick in the eye, so we might as well celebrate. Crime is down, school scores are up here in Texas, and there is no baseball strike this year.

We know that free speech is in good shape — not only because the Supremes just came thumping out with a big decision that applies the First Amendment to cyberspace but also because kvetching is the national pastime. Our public scolds are in rare plumage and regularly inform us that our morals have gone to pieces, our families are falling apart, our society is the most decadent since the palmy days of the late Roman empire, our kids are spoiled rotten and our government can't do anything right. In order to correct all this, they advocate a constitutional amendment against flag-burning.

We live in a great nation.

We're still a little confused about sex, of course, as befits descendants of Puritans. At least we're providing amusement for other nations in this regard. The president is being sued on grounds of sexual harassment, and the Air Force has achieved such an advanced state of dingbattery on matters sexual that it had to retreat to the safer ground of denying that space aliens have been landing near Roswell, N.M. Of course, no one believed them.

The Walt Disney Co., creator of adorable cartoon critters beloved by children everywhere, is now being boycotted by the Southern Baptists as a sink of perversion. Now, there's an interesting development.

Our latest fad is the cabbage diet, which raises the always timely question: Is God punishing us?

Our democracy is under a slight cloud, but fear not: With Ol' Ethics-Fine Gingrich at the helm and that saintly fellow Rep. Dan Burton fixing to investigate how other people raise campaign money, we can look forward to a high level of entertainment provided by the public purse in the near future.

This is a great nation.

The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion. So let us repair to the purple mountain majesties, the shining shores or the back yard, there to tuck into our fried chicken, hot dogs, corn on the cob, potato salad, ice cream, fireworks and John Philip Sousa. Or, as the case may be, arugula, radicchio, confit of duck with gingered figs, shiitake mushrooms, sorrel salad, raspberry puree, fireworks and John Philip Sousa.

And as we wish our country happy birthday, endeavor to recall two things: 1) Most Americans really are much nicer people than we often give ourselves credit for being, and 2) "the pursuit of happiness" was an 18th-century locution for "the search for justice and right."

Besides, next year, someone else will be Humanitarian of the Year, and with any luck, it won't be O.J. Simpson. Have a glorious Fourth.

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Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.