AUSTIN — The annual year-end review of the weirdness of the 365 days we have just survived has, in theory, redeeming social value. This sobering look at our follies and excesses is supposed to cause us to pull up our collective socks and vow never to say or do such foolish things again. So far, it hasn't worked.

Nevertheless, operating on the theory that some residual sense of shame may eventually cause us to straighten up and fly right, we persist in pointing out the most egregiously moronic moments of our national life. In a weird way, this record is enough to make you proud.

Just for starters, let us ponder the move this spring by the United Jewish Appeal, one of the world's largest charities. At its annual dinner in New York City, the organization had Henry Kissinger present its Humanitarian of the Year Award to Rupert Murdoch.

The late Erwin Knoll would have run that under his standing rubric "No Comment," but I think some explication is called for. That's Kissinger, the noted war criminal, and Murdoch, the Beast of Fleet Street, a man single-handedly responsible for so much that is tawdry in our media that it's a wonder he hasn't been censured by the League for Decency.

Why, you may ask, would the United Jewish Appeal name this man Humanitarian of the Year? Because, I explain, Murdoch's newspapers editorially support Israel. On the other hand, Israel's policies this year do not fall in the category of humanitarian. What we have here is living proof that the Age of Irony has gone too far.

As to why the organized forces for decency have not censured Brother Murdoch, the king of T&A ... well, it's because they were busy censuring the Walt Disney Co. instead. The Southern Baptist Convention decided that Disney, noted purveyor of family entertainment, needed to be boycotted for "promotion of homosexuality" because the company provides health insurance for the domestic partners of gay employees. Some might consider that downright Christian.

Great Moments in Congress: During this summer's campaign finance hearings, Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas, determined to get John Huang's financial arrangements straight, said: "So, no raise money, no get bonus?"

I would pass over the media's performance after the death of Princess Diana in merciful silence, but let it never be forgotten that was the week the Globe tabloid actually printed the death pictures — and every grocery chain in America and Britain refused to carry the Globe.

To further distinguish themselves, the media, out of O.J. Simpson news, brought us Marv Albert, the au pair trial and Kathie Lee Gifford's marital problems.

The concept of sportsmanship reached new highs, thanks to Mike Tyson, Latrell Sprewell, Fuzzy Zoeller, Dennis Rodman, Michael Westbrook, Bill Romanowski, etc.

We learned that House Speaker Newt Gingrich conceives his role in our national life to be "advocate of civilization, definer of civilization, teacher of the Rules of Civilization." Heeeeeelp!

Vice President Al Gore contributed the phrase "no controlling legal authority" to political lore, not to mention claiming that he was the model for Oliver Barrett IV in "Love Story," which, if true, never should have been admitted. Democrats begin to understand how Republicans felt when Dan Quayle appeared to be their inevitable nominee.

And for the political quote of the year, who can forget Roger Tamraz's immortal line, "I think next time I'll give $600,000"? We had a chance, one shining moment, to clean up the corruption of American politics, but we blew it. After Majority Leader Trent Lott shot down campaign finance reform in the Senate, he said, "I feel good about what we did today." Then he went to a fund-raiser and got $100,000 worth of soft money. Lott also described spending the weekend at a fancy Florida resort with a lot of lobbyists and logrollers as "the American way." And that's what legalized bribery has become: the American Way.

My own modest contributions to the national stupidity quotient focus — aside from accidentally moving Sen. Bob Smith from New Hampshire to Maine in an October column and saying last month that Henry Ford raised his employees' pay to $5 an hour rather than $5 a day — were mainly in my touching faith that this summer's campaign finance reform hearings would actually produce a mighty call for change. Nah. Next time, they'll just give $600,000. Although, in the field of lunatic predictions, my cheerful assertion that Texas General Land Commissioner Garry Mauro has a reasonable chance of upsetting our governor, Dubya Bush may yet wind up making me look as wise at Trent Lott.

Happy New Year, everyone!

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Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. You may write to her care of this newspaper or via e-mail at [email protected].