Dear John: Can you please tell married people to stop telling single people how lucky they are to be single? It is the most insulting thing they could say! I don't know why they think it's great to come back to an empty home, have no one to share your life with, no one to talk to about your good and bad days and no one to hold your hand during hard times. Their pity is not appreciated. — Not Fooled, in Fresno, Calif.

Dear Not Fooled: Your married friends may not necessarily be feeling sorry for you. Their reaction may just be a demonstration of the old adage "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." Then again, perhaps they are acutely aware of your feelings about being single, and they want to ease your worries.

In either case, a negative attitude — toward your situation or their comments — will only make your predicament worse, especially if it chases away your friends, the very people who want to see you happy. Instead, accept their comments graciously, and then consider what else you can do to change your outlook on relationships, romance and life.

Dear John: What types of compliments are most flattering to men? Aside from looks or personal things, that is. I want to get the attention of someone with whom I work. — Hoping to Be Noticed, in Yonkers, N.Y.

Dear Hoping: Both women and men have natural instincts to compliment the opposite sex in ways they would like to be complimented. Sometimes, that can backfire. Instead, keep this in mind: A man thrives on such things as trust, admiration and appreciation, while women thrive on such things as understanding, caring and validation. Tell him that you admire his sense of style, humor or fairness. You can also tell him you appreciate the effort he puts into everything he does. Those are words that are sure to catch the attention of any Martian. Even if he doesn't react at that moment, words like "admire" stick in his mind. He will know you want his attention, and he may take it from there.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email at: www.marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.