Dear John, I am both curious and serious about living with my girlfriend of three years. I envision our marriage occurring as soon as I'm complete graduate school in 2014. While the low success rate of co-habitation to marriage makes me nervous, I feel that our communication with each other, our shared goals and values means we should last. —Am I Missing Something? in Denver, Colo.

Dear Missing Something, It's not a flaw in nature but rather a simple fact that many couples get into trouble when they fall out of alignment while moving through the five stages of dating: Attraction, Uncertainty, Exclusivity, Intimacy and Engagement.

It's much like the game of Chutes and Ladders. For example, one partner may be ready to move on to Exclusivity, while the other partner is stuck in Uncertainty. Until the latter partner has resolved all of his or her doubts, a push forward will have them both falling back.

From what you've written, you feel you are already at stage five, Engagement. In fact, you may be at stage three, Exclusivity. You feel you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you want to test this belief. Take the leap. By doing so, one of two things will occur: Either your feelings will be strengthened, or you will both walk away knowing that you gave the relationship your best. Lasting love is always of test of faith in one another.

Dear John, I've been dating a great guy for more than two years. Tom comes over to my house every day. We have dinner, watch TV, but later he goes home to his mother and father's house. On the other hand, I have a mortgage, utilities, food bills, the cable and so on.

I feel short changed in many ways, because I'm always scrimping and saving to pay the bills, and he's not. Frankly, this is getting old. No ring, no date, no commitment, just dinner and TV. I feel that after this length of time, we should be farther along (not sex-wise because we have decided to wait on that). I know that if we were not together, I would still have these bills. Yet, to come over every day and not contribute is making me wonder if he's worth keeping. What are your thoughts? —Uncertainly His, in Macon, GA

Dear Uncertainly His, As a general rule, men don't trouble a good thing. If he likes things the way they are, why should he change? If you want to break this cycle, you've got to ask for what you want. For example, if you want to go out to dinner and a movie, say that. Also, if you'd like a different level of commitment in your relationship, speak up.

Tell him that you love him, that you want your lives to be together and, with that in mind, you'd like to begin an honest discussion of marriage. This puts the ball in his court to speak honestly about his own desires. If it turns out that his timetable differs from yours, your next choice is how long you want to wait around — or if he's worth the wait in the first place.

2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.