Dear John: My friend, "Jodi," recently ended a long-term relationship. Her boyfriend had no respect for her and often cheated on her. Needless to say, Jodi makes it a point to be checked out for STDs. She told me this in confidence, and thus far, she's tested negative - although she still sees him periodically. To make matters worse, since the break up, Jodi has been quite the party animal.

I am anticipating a visit from my brother. He is in his late 30s, single and good-looking. I've invited a few friends over to meet him, but I haven't included Jodi. To be honest, with all that I know about her, I don't want him anywhere near her! Unfortunately, one of the friends mentioned the get-together and since then, Jodi's been dropping hints for an invitation. Should I invite Jodi and let fate take its course? And if I do, should I warn my brother of possible medical consequences, despite the fact that I am "telling tales out of school"? — Unsure, in Bakersfield, Calif.

Dear Unsure: The decision to invite Jodi is yours to make. Should you decide to include her, do what you think is right regarding your knowledge of Jodi's health issues. You can ease your conscience by knowing that, if the shoe were on the other foot, you would hope the same information might have been disclosed to you by your sibling. But remember: Your brother is certainly old enough to determine with whom he wants — or does not want — to get involved with. Once he is armed with this knowledge, step aside and trust him to make the decision that is only his to make.

Dear John: I am a 28-year-old female physician (resident) who has yet to have a mature, loving relationship. I only started dating in medical school, and it seems that I gravitate toward men who are "playboys." I am now in a four-month-old relationship with a medical student who is three years younger. It started as a vacation fling, and he makes very little effort to visit. We are both very busy with our careers. He openly says he is not ready for a commitment. I am doing the chasing, and I am not used to this. It lowers my self-esteem. In fact, I think I am lonelier now than before we met, and I seem to be isolating myself from friends and family. How can I let go of this painful relationship and find a caring man? My career often limits me to meeting people in my profession. Unfortunately, after five years of experience, I am not sure I even want to date another doctor. — Always Dr. Single, in Philadelphia, Pa.

Dear Dr. Single: Many insecure men shy away from women who they feel are smarter or more financially secure than they are. Of course, these feelings of intimidation are more common with men under the age of 30.

With age comes the maturity to withhold judgment based on surface criteria. Additionally, most men in their 20s are not in a stage of life where they want to commit exclusively to one relationship. Doctors know if a remedy is not giving you the results you need, change the prescription. In your case, you should turn your sights toward men that are of the right age — preferably over 32 — and have the right attitude about their professional and financial security.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email at: [email protected]. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.