Dear John: I recently started a relationship with my best male friend. Everything is perfect between us except for the fact that he's not a great kisser. He didn't use his tongue at all, his mouth was very wet, and he kept it open all the time. Then he complained that I use my tongue too much. He thinks I'm the one who can't kiss. Can this be resolved? — Tongue-Tied, in Fort Lee, N.J.

Dear Tongue-Tied: Sure, you can work this out — if both of you are willing to take criticism without being offended. If you prefer some tongue action, let him know. If you prefer that his mouth not resemble the Lincoln Tunnel, then say so.

But remember: It's not what you say, but how you say it, particularly in issues of romantic performance. For example, you might say, "Honey, I'd prefer to feel your tongue, like this..." And then demonstrate.

After you've given your opinion, be fair and ask for his. Half the fun of kissing is experimenting, so take your time to explore the possibilities.

Dear John: My counselor tells me that studies show absolutely no correlation between a good marriage and good sex. This seems counterintuitive to me. I understand that it may not be the most important thing in a marriage, but is there evidence of good marriages with bad sex? — Prove Me Wrong, in Des Moines, Iowa

Dear Prove Me Wrong: There are several components that make up a successful marriage. These include trust, commitment and love, as well as passion, which is motivated by sexual chemistry. While it is great when all of these forces come together in one relationship, that is not always the case.

However, of these four components, passion is the one that a relationship could survive without. Why? Because sexual chemistry naturally ebbs and flows during the course of a long relationship. However, if a couple loses their feelings of trust, commitment or love, then the union will be irretrievably broken. A great sex life enhances greatly a good marriage, but it won't make a bad marriage succeed.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: [email protected]. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.