Dear John: I have been married almost six years. My husband spends all his time on the computer, and we have little to do with each other. The only time he leaves the computer is to have dinner or use the bathroom. For the past three years, we don't even share the same room or bed. My husband rarely touches me and never gives me a kiss. I have to be the one to kiss him. Our hugs are so few that my arms ache for someone to hold me. He promises to take me somewhere, and then, at the last minute, he changes his mind, and I either have to go alone or not go at all. Sometimes, I wonder: "What am I doing here? What should I do about this?" — Dazed and Confused, in Richmond, Va.

Dear Confused: What you describe here is a marriage in name only. Women accepted this in 1914, but in 2014, the standards we've set for a successful marriage have changed. Since he lives on the Internet, you may want to send him an email explaining how this relationship no longer works for you. Share what your hopes were for a life partner and what you feel is missing in the relationship you have today. If he hits "delete," you could not have a clearer signal that it is time for you to move on.

Dear John: I have a close male friend and believe we could take our relationship to a different level, but he says he is not in love with me and never will be. He says he knows the minute he meets someone if he can have an intimate relationship with her. We are best friends and are very compatible in a lot of ways. Should I just bide my time and hope for a change? — Can't Give Up, in Mendocino, Calif.

Dear Can't Give Up: Trust me, you'll only get your heart broken, because he is holding out for the chemistry that takes a relationship from stage one of dating and attraction through stage two, uncertainty and beyond. Your inability to let go may be attributed to the fact that you were not the one who chose not to pursue a closer relationship.

The first step toward releasing this pain is to recognize that he wasn't the right person for you in the first place. Your true soul mate can only connect with you if your heart is open to him. Acknowledge the friendship for what it is and make the choice to let go of anything more than that. The next step you must take is to fill the void you are currently feeling. This means going out with other friends and also dating new people. Start today. You can, and will, move beyond this difficult time.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email by going to www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.