(This column is dedicated to the astounding Tiger Woods. Too many torques of the knee can bring anyone down. That's the dark side of repetitive competitive sports. Good luck with your surgery.)

Golf is a marvelous sport — and a maddening game.

"Golf is of games the most mystical, the least earthbound," the novelist John Updike once wrote, "the one wherein the walls between us and the supernatural are rubbed the thinnest."

Through thick or thin, golfers play for many reasons: for pleasure, for business, for exercise, for a rejuvenating retreat to peaceful surroundings. I took up the game about 10 years ago and have given myself 30 more years to learn it. So far, so good.

Golf turned out to be much harder than I thought. Also, more humbling. Also, much more fun. A few years ago, I got certified as a golf conditioning specialist — I hoped it would help my game, and it did — and that's when I began to realize that if you want to achieve the Perfect Swing, your body and your conscious mind must be in harmony. I also learned there is no such thing as The Perfect Swing, just a swing on its way to perfection, far, far down the fairway.

Here are four of my best golf training tips for you to putter around with:

GET IN SHAPE, PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. Golf is not a fitness sport. In a typical four-hour round, you will actually spend less than six minutes swinging at the ball. Even at 10 minutes, it's not going to get you into cardiovascular shape the way running, walking or cycling will. Indeed — now hear this! — if you want to play the best golf of your life, it's wise to approach the golf gods as a fit and flexible person who eats well and maintains strength and endurance off the course and throughout the year. Your mental training is just as important — visualization and relaxation — because the real secret to great golf, once you've got the basic skills, is to stay calm and concentrated for all 18 holes. Piece of cake.

MAKE IT MORE OF A WORKOUT. Just say no to the electric golf cart. I know it speeds up the game, but I'm more interested in speeding up your heart. Walk the course whenever you can. Pull a cart, hire a caddy, or do what many fitness-minded golfers do: Buy a light bag with backpack straps, and carry your own clubs. This can make golf a real workout, but it can also give you the worst backache of your life. So be careful: bending, twisting and swinging can stretch you or wreck you. Move with awareness, from your center, and learn to use your breath to relax your muscles, energize your body and focus your mind.

FLEX AND STRETCH. You must have a plan to warm up and stretch your golfing muscles on a continual basis, or else, over time, they will get tighter and weaker. Tight muscles — around your knees and hips, along your spine, in your shoulders — are tense muscles, and muscle tension is one of the great enemies of a smooth, repeatable golf swing. Tight and weak muscles are also more likely to get injured and feel sore. Strength through relaxation is the key. To swing the club with greater accuracy and control and avoid aches and pains, commit to a stretching routine that will give you greater range of motion in your hips, your shoulders and your torso. Buy a book, watch a video, go online or get help from a golf conditioning specialist in your area.

TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, BUT KEEP LAUGHING. Golf has inspired a million jokes and cartoons, but we who laugh last know what a seriously demanding game it is, physically and mentally. The margin of error is tiny. The potential for humiliation is huge. Your attitude is everything. Every guru of golf will tell you to stay positive when you play. If you miss a 2-foot putt or hit your third tee shot into the woods, don't beat yourself up. Take a breath, shake it off, and smile yourself back to the present moment. Don't allow your mind to wander to past mistakes or future failures. Be present; be grateful. You are golfing, one joyful stroke at a time.

ENERGY EXPRESS-O! WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS

"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's game: It's called an eraser." — Arnold Palmer

Marilynn Preston — fitness expert, personal trainer and speaker on healthy lifestyle issues — is the creator of Energy Express, the longest-running syndicated fitness column in the country. She welcomes reader questions, which can be sent to [email protected]. To find out more about Preston and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.