By Lynda Hirsch

December 8, 2018 4 min read

I have been checking into "General Hospital" for over 50 years. (Yes, I was watching it in vitro — not true.) In all those years I have never wanted to check out. Now, I am ready to be discharged.

First, the pros.

Amazing acting: We're talking about you, Maura West, Steve Burton, James Patrick Stuart, Roger Howarth — pretty much the whole dang cast. Whatever they are given to work with they work with. It is great when they give screen time to legacy characters such as Scott, Mac and Felicia.

The Kevin/Ryan switch is great. The "When will someone find out?" is fun to watch. Jon Lindstrom's double duty as the really good twin and the really, truly wretched Ryan is an acting masterclass.

Now for the bad news. I hate it when mental health hospitals get the "Snake Pit" treatment. Try to get ahold of this long-ago film on the horrors of being in a sanitarium. In the "GH" version, Ferncliff has patients locked up against their will, almost given unneeded electroshock therapy. It would be wonderful if some who was in the place needed to be and was given proper care — like what happens in a real-life facility. Jason, with Franco's help, had to kidnap her from the joint.

The snail's pace of the Jason and Sam hookup. Sam is acting like she is in 7th grade. Let's keep hot-to-trot Jason on hold. Even the show addressed the issue. Jason told his "wife" he was taking lots of cold showers. No doubt the guy has not had sex in six years — the five years he was held in the Russian hospital and his year back in Port Charles.

While Jason and Sam play "too hard to get," they are amping up the Peter-Maxie storyline. Any way you spin it, he was involved in Nathan's fatal shooting. It has been less than a year of widowhood, and Maxie is fighting "I want to jump in your bed" feelings. Like a bad topical joke, this is "too soon."

Rumor has it that Sam's very rich and very dead husband will keep their relationship on hold. Just what we need: another character. The cast of characters makes a Dagwood sandwich look like a snack.

Here is a story idea that makes sense, will have Sam feeling guilty and make Carly turn to someone else for help.

Sam takes on an assignment. Jason realizes it is dangerous. And his pal Mr. Glock arrives on the scene. The bad guy is about to shoot Sam, when Jason steps in and takes a bullet for her. Not a Michael Cohen bullet — a real bullet. Of course, Jason does not die. The shooting leaves him blind. Being a blind enforcer does not work. Jason being Jason, he will not want Sam to stick around. He does the protecting; he never wants to be protected. If this plot shows up on "General Hospital," there will be no lawsuit. Anyone on the writing staff could and should plot this scenario.

To find out more about Lynda Hirsch and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at

Photo credit: at Pixabay

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