The following is a wholly fabricated, fictitious conversation between a college professor and his students on Sept. 8, 2022, shortly after the Royal Family announced the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

TEACHER: Class, I have bad news for you all. We've just learned that someone tremendously influential has died.

STUDENT A: Oh, no! From TikTok or from Instagram?

TEACHER: (Deep sigh) No, not a social media influencer. An influential person. The queen. The queen has died.

CLASS IN UNISON: Queen Latifah died???

TEACHER: Not Queen Latifah. Queen Elizabeth II of England.

STUDENT B: Oh. How old was she?

TEACHER: She was 96, and she lived a full life, that's true. But she was of tremendous importance to her people, and her advanced age actually rendered her death even more unbelievable. Because she had lived for so long, many began to take for granted that she would never die.

STUDENT A: So, you're saying the queen was, like, Betty White, and the rest of the world was, like, People magazine?

TEACHER: She was a little more important to world history than Betty White.

STUDENT C: Why? Was she the boss of England or something?

TEACHER: She didn't rule, no. The monarch in the United Kingdom holds a mostly ceremonial position. But she was queen during all of the wonderful and terrible moments of most Britons' lives, and she publicly represented them at innumerable important occasions and cultural events. They saw her face everywhere — on their money and on their stamps — and sang "God Save the Queen" at sporting events. She was sort of ... Great Britain's mascot.

STUDENT C: Like Uga.

TEACHER: Who's Uga?

STUDENT C: The bulldog that goes to all the University of Georgia football games. It's their mascot. People really love that dog.

TEACHER: No, she was nothing at all like Uga. The queen was an enduring symbol of the United Kingdom, and she held the position for 70 years, longer than any other British monarch. People all over the world are grieving her loss, including here in our own country.

STUDENT C: In the United States? But didn't we fight a war so we wouldn't have to bow down to their kings and queens? I'm pretty sure Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote a whole musical about it.

TEACHER: Yes, she's not our queen, but she also symbolized more than just the job she did. To many, her name and the continuation of the monarchy represented stability, dignity, devotion to duty ...

STUDENT D: Hundreds of years of violent colonial oppression against people in Ireland, India and throughout the Caribbean and Africa, just to name a few places?

TEACHER: Well ... maybe that, too. But we should remember that, while the dead have no feelings, those they left behind do. She seems to have been a good person, gentle and thoughtful, by all accounts, and beloved by many. She was a mother, a grandmother and a great-grandmother. Her family is mourning her right now, and that's important to keep in mind.

STUDENT A: Plus, she was famous.

TEACHER: Yes, extremely famous. Think of the most famous person you know.

STUDENT A: Zendaya.

TEACHER: Famous but British.

STUDENT B: Harry Styles.

TEACHER: Famous for something other than being attractive.

STUDENT C: Donald Trump.

TEACHER: Maybe it's time to move on. Let's get started on that quiz I told you we were having today.

STUDENT E: Sir, I need the day off to mourn. My great-grandparents were mostly British, and my mom just texted me that in the queen's remembrance, we're all going to watch "The Crown," lose at soccer and put vinegar on our fries.

TEACHER: Class dismissed.

To learn more about Georgia Garvey, visit GeorgiaGarvey.com.

Photo credit: PublicDomainPictures at Pixabay