Three sad words in the English language are: "Get Into Shape." With every new resolution, Americans almost always use the common refrain, "I am definitely going to get into shape".

When we see someone who looks healthy, we say, "She is in such great shape." Shape is a national obsession, and although it refers to health, it reflects the way we wish to look. The news media and advertisers portray being thin as a measure of beauty. Pictures of young men with perfect bodies or women wearing scanty clothes, a bare midriff and sporting jewelry in their belly buttons are everywhere.

It is a rare person who can ever aspire to being "one of those beautiful people," and as we look in the mirror, all we see are flaws or images of our parents or grandparents staring back at us. It's not surprising that my patients universally scoff when I tell them they are beautiful.

If not being perfect is devastating to the self-esteems of teenagers, young adults and baby boomers, the effects on older individuals are particularly severe. Just recently, one of the most beautiful 80-something people I know, with a beautiful face, blazing blue eyes and a tummy that is average for her age, complained about her wrinkles and double chin, and asked quite seriously if she should have a tummy tuck. She was desperate to bring back her youth. No matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to convince her that she is beautiful.

Subjected to the most discrimination are those who are significantly overweight. One 75-year-old woman who weighed much more than 300 pounds came to see me regularly because she said, "I was the only physician who seemed to respect her as a person." The indignities she had suffered amounted to serious discrimination.

The reason this topic is so important stems from the results of a study by the MacArthur Foundation of thousands of people over age 50. It showed that high self-esteem was the single most important predictor of a long and independent life. Think poorly of yourself, and your risk of illness and even death increases threefold. It is for this reason that I always look on the positive side and have as a major goal to make patients I see feel better at the end of their visits than they did before.

So what can we do to improve our self-esteems? Here are some suggestions: —Think well of yourself. Just because you are pleasantly plump, have some wrinkles and are less shapely than you used to be, does not mean you are not beautiful.

—Feel good about yourself and appreciate your inner and outer beauty. I, for one, love telling men they are beautiful. They look at me askance. I respond that beauty is not merely the way you look, but who you are, what you have done, the contributions you have made and what you stand for. Universally, women often say the man in their life is beautiful.

—Always look on the bright side. No matter the afflictions, the future must have hope and purpose. Forget the negative stereotypes of aging — the best is yet to come. Retirement is not the end of anything. It is the beginning of a new phase, so treat it that way.

—Getting and staying busy is the best approach to sustaining self-esteem. Life has to be full to have meaning. Cultivate your creative side. Remain a lifelong learner. Write, paint or develop an avocation. Stay occupied and involved. Stay close to your family. We are now the older ones. It is up to us to mentor our children and grandchildren.

—Be aware of depression. Remember, depression is not a weakness but a disease. Depression adversely affects self-esteem and is treatable.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if each of us felt comfortable with a bare midriff and belly-button jewel? So what if it jiggles and moves from side to side and up and down, always remember your inner and outer beauty and tell yourself you are gorgeous.

To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.